Hey there! Plume here, with a review! And belated welcome to YWS!!
This was a very moving piece! I think that change is something everyone can relate to; I know I found myself nodding along to some of your points. I liked how you focused on change in a more positive light and then moved into the more negative side of things; that contrast helped keep the reader's interest.
I think your metaphors in this were very nice. They worked really well to help the reader relate to the material that was presented. I think the strongest example of that was the descriptions of the relationship and then it crumbling. Not sure if that was autobiographical, but sending you love all the same. Manipulation by others is always tough, and the narrator seems to have gone through it. I liked the line about the "fortress around my heart." I think that bit of figurative language worked well to display how closed off and guarded the narrator is.
One thing I did notice about this was how it was structured. You marked it as poetry, but to me, it doesn't exactly read like a poem, even prose poetry. It sounds like a personal essay or a character monologue. There's an essay option when you go to publish your work, just in case you didn't see it, along with a short story and script option. I know that sometimes the Publishing Center glitches. Also, I wanted to direct you to the handy dandy blog feature on this site. I'm not sure if this is personal, but if you're looking more for a spot to vent with more supportive feedback (as in, people replying to the actual content) that's a good place for it. Here, when you publish it as a literary work, people come to review their thoughts on both the quality and content. If that's what you want, go for it! This could also just be a work in writing from the POV of a character, and I would say that belongs where it is now. I just thought I'd draw your attention to the other site features as well. (Also, publishing a work costs 200 points. Writing a blog post is free.)
Specifics
I am to the point where I no longer silence my opinions, no not opinions, feelings.
I got what you were trying to achieve from the punctuation here, but it read a little awkwardly. I think if you first used an em-dash after the first opinions and then said "No, not opinions. Feelings." That would flow a bit better.
The whispers of I love you as you are crying in pain.
I think "I love you" should have quotations around it.
They’re friends say things like, “I hoped he would’ve changed for her.”
Tiny thing: "they're" should be "their."
So yes I have changed, and NO I will never be the same.
To me, the ending felt... underwhelming. I think it's redundant, because you're saying you've changed and that you'll never be the same, which is already implied in saying you've changed. I also think the "no" in capitals radiates a child yelling and stamping its foot, which doesn't fit well with the rest of what you've presented. Play around with different endings. See which one you like best. Also, lowercase the "no."
Overall: nice work!! I think this was a very well worded piece, and your usage of metaphors to further the emphasis on feelings worked nicely with the mood you were trying to convey. I hope to read more of your work sometime! Until next time!
Points: 81482
Reviews: 672
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