12+

The Mirror

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I look in the mirror

My reflection is not what it seems

Beneath the forever smiling mask is

A haunting memory

Torturous and forever

An 'old' love

A regretted decision

Tears well up

I blink them back, look around

No one sees them

Those tears

Comments & reviews · 2
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Hello, welcome to YWS!
I'm Maddie, and I'm here to review your Poem!
On with it then XD

Well, this is a nice, simplistic poem. It carries a good amount of emotion without becoming over dramatic, and the message behind the words isn't encrypted, so it isn't confusing. The tone is one that many can relate to, saddened and hidden away so to keep those you're close to from becoming worried. I myself have done that so that family and friends wouldn't be concerned about me, 'cause we all know, everyone has their own problems, and some are weighed more important than others.

Back to the review XDD
As for what to improve on, I say that you could always use a more advance vocabulary. Boosting the wording of your work can make it sound much more mature, and can bring new ways to look at the piece from the view of the reader.
I like that this is free-verse, normally people like to be more rhyming.

Keep doing stuff like this, but keep building. You have great potential, so keep growing!
Good luck!
~Maddie

User avatar
calondra1024
Review

I love this! It's mysterious and attention grabbing. It would make a cool story in my opinion. It makes you wonder what the memory was or why it was so bad. It makes you WANT to know. It is very descriptive. I would love to read more, like in a story. Just give some background on what the memory was. I love how it's talking about how the person is staring in a mirror remembering a tragedy of some sort. I didn't find any grammar or spelling errors. I don't know anything about poetry so I won't say anything about the format. I love when people write like this, like it's expected that the audience knows the back story. It's mysterious and interesting. Not giving any detail into the subject of your story is a very good way to keep people reading your writings.



Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness
— Allen Ginsburg