Published December 14, 2011
The Unicorn Forgot Happiness Alongside Batman
Single horn above the bridge, what magic flies
within your curvature? Sooth my wound gaping
in metaphysical realms: aching to embrace
your abrasive cloven earth-trodders, whose size
uproots moss to make way for the light – shaping
roots to the plants that your leftovers grace
our ground with, within the past and without demise.
Truly is out to mirror in, demise thus mirrors past, snaping
our domain. That powerful horn, crest of your face,
ceases to appear ahead of me – no more cream-filled pies
nor fireflies. Do sometime come over for coffee and draping
of draperies slovenly glazed, back at 909 Cynical Place.
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141,251 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
The Unicorn Forgot Happiness Alongside Batman
Single horn above the bridge, what magic flies
within your curvature? Sooth my wound gaping
in metaphysical realms: aching to embrace
your abrasive cloven earth-trodders, whose size
uproots moss to make way for the light – shaping
roots to the plants that your leftovers grace
our ground with, within the past and without demise.
Truly is out to mirror in, demise thus mirrors past, snaping
our domain. That powerful horn, crest of your face,
ceases to appear ahead of me – no more cream-filled pies
nor fireflies. Do sometime come over for coffee and draping
of draperies slovenly glazed, back at 909 Cynical Place.
Wow! Good job! I really liked this poem. You used a really dramatic writing style for a comical poem, which I love. You used nice descriptive words, and it was very imaginative! I don't have anything to say that's very constructive, this is beyond my reviewing capacity, so I'll just try and tell you how I felt as the reader!
Do sometime come over for coffee and draping of draperies slovenly glazed,
-Sometime felt a bit out of place to me when I read it aloud, but that might just be me. I like just plain "Do come over for coffee and draping of draperies slovenly glazed,". That's just a matter of opinion though.
In the second line, 'sooth' should be 'soothe' (unless you actually did intend 'sooth', which means truth or fact).
Again, very nice use of an expansive vocabulary, though more subtle than in Deva. Great imagery, especially this part:
Best unicorn-related poem I've read in a very long time.
This is the second comical piece I've reviewed today!~ hahahah this was hilarious, no other content necessary
I wish more people would make pieces like this, sure a descriptive and soulful poem of sorrow and romance is a great read, but we could use more of this silly and lighthearted stuff. Kudoz to you and your silly poem xD haha keep writing!
Hahahahahah this is really funny! Hey Ilyaeeiz! Dogs here with your review today! I really don't have much of anything to say about this because it is just so simple and clever and witty and funny and imaginative and descriptive and yada yada. I really enjoyed reading this mainly for the cleverness of this! And it was really kinda funny.
Perfect grammar wise as always and a wonderful poem never-the-less. Keep up the good work!!!
TuckEr EllsworTh