Published May 6, 2011
O Sunny Mao
'Twas a brilliant day in China,
and the sun was out in force –
patrolling the streets as if secret
police, out with the old and dust:
the new all over now.
Vendors, traders, profiteers, private
what once was public, what now?
Mercantile madness, madam, marches
made 'in China' so oft today; rolling off
Mao for Adam Smith on myriad
assembly lines renouncing in sarcastic
fervor – owning multiple pairs of jeans
minus dogma produced by the few now
shoddy, mass interpretation.
Oh they may smile in North Korea,
they may reminisce in Russia,
but in China as in Mudville
stoic standards have been stricken;
O Mao, does the sun still permeate your grave?
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
Heya,
This was really cool and deep. Not a whole lot to say actually, except, should it be 'made in china' not made 'in china'
Well, that's the only thing i really picked up on, sorry...
Quest.
This is good (and kind of funny, although I don't know if you intended it to be that way). I especially like the second stanza. As a matter of personal preference, I feel that the first part of the first stanza (especially the word "'twas") does not quite fit in with the voice of the rest of the poem, but I leave the decision to change it to your discretion.
Also, I too experiment with punctuation and grammar and have a vocabulary of over 9000 words.
(Okay, maybe I don't. But who's counting, anyway?)
~Blue