Da Vinci, Da Bum

ilyaeelz wrote:

Lone, rusty light bulb- illumine my thought.
Flick'ring periodically, shining through the clutter.
Canvas in corner, half-finished portrait of which I can't even
Remember – the subject.
Some scripts (for the studio) stand to be sold on the side.
Back to me – Hey! – Over here! – closer –
Stop! Hammertime (literally) trashing
The basement with nuts, bolts, and screws
Twisting tighter, snapping spilling over the floor
Wood held together by mettle of metal, forcing (puns) parts to
Fit in.
Of machines, Leonardo made multitudes; this one sweats out a few.
Now just engines, power, to fit and finish off the earlier work.
Good stuff, right?..
WHAT?!
Bills, contracts, leases, hassles – I know not, I know
Not!
Let me alone, begone with you, you raven!..
Did Da Vinci have it this hard?

Hey ilyaeelz!

This was a really interesting poem! I liked it. Is the formatting purposeful? If it has a meaning to you, I would keep it that way, because it's a really interesting way to read this poem. Kind of enhances the oddity of the poem. If it's not intentional, there's a way to reformat it to be on the left

My comments are in red!
Lines I really liked are in blue!

Lone, rusty light bulb- illumine my thought.
Flick'ring periodically, shining through the clutter. Is flickering supposed to have that apostrophe?
Canvas in corner, half-finished portrait of which I can't even
Remember – the subject.
Some scripts (for the studio) stand to be sold on the side.
Back to me – Hey! – Over here! – closer –
Stop! Hammertime (literally) trashing
The basement with nuts, bolts, and screws
Twisting tighter, snapping spilling over the floor
Wood held together by mettle of metal, forcing (puns) parts to
Fit in.
Of machines, Leonardo made multitudes; this one sweats out a few.
Now just engines, power, to fit and finish off the earlier work.
Good stuff, right?..
WHAT?! I don't understand this line. When I was reading, it broke me out of the poem. It also seems like their should be a better transition between the line before this and the line after, this felt awkward and actually made me go "what??"
Bills, contracts, leases, hassles – I know not, I know
Not!
Let me alone, begone with you, you raven!..
Did Da Vinci have it this hard?

I think this is rather beautiful, but it shouldn't be to the right, it made it somewhat confusing!