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hi dancer. I love this its so straight forward and it has so much power flowing each letter like a rush of hate, love, and a wish. that is what I like only forty words and you have made me sit back and say WOW that was deep. I have always wanted to be able to do that, a few words and I nock the audience away but I cant you can. this factor will make you formidable writer who is going to the stars. please don't stop and good luck.

Hey there Dancer. It's just lizzy here, stopping by for a review. Let me start by welcoming you to YWS, glad to have you here. So without further ado, let the reviewing begin.

-This work is certainly relatable. Like GeeLyria wrote, many of us have most likely found ourselves in similar situations. For this I like your poem but there are a couple of things that I would like to point out.

Length Overall and Lines
1. Your overall length was fine but my problem is with the lines themselves. At 16 lines, a poem should be able to get the point across thoroughly. Your text did not meet my standard. I think to fix this little mistake, all you need to do is add more description. Make each line of poetry vivid and it will draw the readers in.

Content
1. With content my first nitpick is the hook and title. Your title is just a ".", which is what drew me to the poem in the first place. There is only one period in your poem, making it one sentence. Was the meaning of the ".", just one period, just one sentence to describe your relationship with this person? This is all I could gather from the text. If I am incorrect please notify me of my mistake.
2. The hook, which may usually stay in essays, always seems to be the line of poetry that keeps the reader interested. You did not really have a hook, which bothered me. I was simply reading because of a title not an actual line. This is where the description I was talking about before comes in, it would most certainly help to keep the reader's attention.

Well that's about all I have for this review. I would love to read your next poem.
Happy New Year!
-lizzy

Hello, InfiniteRectangles here with a review for you!

Alrighty, first, I don't really understand why your title is a period, but it could be a creative choice, so I won't pester you about that. Next, I think your poem has a lot of potential, but in it's current state, it's very simplistic, and, well, cliche. I don't want you to think that your poetry is bad, because it definitely isn't, but I think you should play around more with imagery. Don't just tell your readers what you are feeling. Show them. Make them feel "in the moment". You want your readers to connect with your poem and be able to identify with it, so work on making your poetry stronger. The ending was fine, I like the "worlds apart" concept, but instead of explaining in your other lines why you are worlds apart, use imagery to show your readers. For example:

"You laugh

I laugh

I’m ugly

You’re beautiful"

I get what you are going for, but this is a bit cliche. Liven it up a bit. What does their laugh sound like? Why do you laugh too? Tell us why she is beautiful and you are ugly. Throw some physical characteristics or personality traits in there so we can get an image in our minds. Try something like: "Your contagious laugh grows and echoes through the room/ Your happiness reaches me and I begin to laugh too" Or something along the lines of that.

Overall, I like the concept of this poem, and I think it has the potential to be great. You just need to work on your delivery. Make your readers see and feel how the narrator of the poem does.

That's all I have for you. Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night! Also, welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy it here!

Hi, Dancer! Very interesting topic; I believe many of us have been there and we have done that! The fact that your poem is relatable is something good, and I'm glad to know you have chosen poetry as a way to express those feelings. However, through this review, I would like to encourage you to play a little bit more with that experience, with your feelings and what you have perceived. If you take a look at your piece, you could notice that you have shared a topic, but very superficially. It feels as if you are not sure what you feel and think yourself, or rather like you haven't really thought it through or in depth.

My suggestion is for you to develop further these same lines. I would not like you to think that your piece doesn't have potential, because it could be way more meaningful; I would like you to think that out of these same lines you have already written, you could not only tell what is happening and what you are feeling, but also show it... Through descriptions, play with imagery and also with comparisions, if that is required or fun enough to do.

Also, I'm sure that if you find a meaning and a purpose for your piece, it will be so much easier to choose a title.