Young Writers Society

Hey Anne,

I liked your poem (I still do). To be honest, I was intrigued by the use of 'rose' in your poem. I read the poem as a whole and then I only read the italicised lines and I found a poem within a poem. The effect is pretty good and it brings a deeper and less conventional meaning to the word 'masquerade'.

The 'rose' in your poem has narrated an experience in my life to me. I wouldn't say it was something I wanted to remember, but.... The point is the lines move the reader. They had a bitter-sweet effect. I simultaneously felt longing and reconciliation.

I didn't really find any flaw in your poem. However, there is no end to improvement. Please keep writing better and better, and I'll looking forward to reading more of your works.

Hey Anne,

I liked your poem (I still do). To be honest, I was intrigued by the use of 'rose' in your poem. I read the poem as a whole and then I only read the italicised lines and I found a poem within a poem. The effect is pretty good and it brings a deeper and less conventional meaning to the word 'masquerade'.

The 'rose' in your poem has narrated an experience in my life to me. I wouldn't say it was something I wanted to remember, but.... The point is the lines move the reader. They had a bitter-sweet effect. I simultaneously felt longing and reconciliation.

I didn't really find any flaw in your poem. However, there is no end to improvement. Please keep writing better and better, and I'll looking forward to reading more of your works.

Hey Anne,

I liked your poem (I still do). To be honest, I was intrigued by the use of 'rose' in your poem. I read the poem as a whole and then I only read the italicised lines and I found a poem within a poem. The effect is pretty good and it brings a deeper and less conventional meaning to the word 'masquerade'.

The 'rose' in your poem has narrated an experience in my life to me. I wouldn't say it was something I wanted to remember, but.... The point is the lines move the reader. They had a bitter-sweet effect. I simultaneously felt longing and reconciliation.

I didn't really find any flaw in your poem. However, there is no end to improvement. Please keep writing better and better, and I'll looking forward to reading more of your works.

HI ANNIE! Ahem. Hey. Scarli here to review your poetry today! (I totally need the points, shh >.>)

Soooo, this was an interesting poem. I like the parts in italics, about the rose and whatnot. I love that imagery. ^^

I especially love these lines;

The wind brings a rose to my feet.

The petals, soft against my cheek.

A thorn leaves a cut that’s deep.

Hello Anne! I've come to give the first review of hopefully many! ^_^ I was surprised to see that this was poetry that you'd requested, but pleasantly surprised. It's a nice change! I will warn you though, I'm no poet, so this will mostly be about what I thought you were trying to portray in this piece.

The smell is sweet- sickly sweet.

A thorn leaves a cut that’s deep

This poem is very well written. I like how all the italicized parts focus around a rose. It makes me think how something that is always portrayed as a romantic flower has to die too. It definitely give the poem a strong feeling to it. I feel like in the last two stanzas you should change the last two lines to something like, "I never let anything show" and " I shut everything behind" so that the stanzas can all follow a pattern.

I ___, I____
Flower part
I "action"
Complete the stanza

This is only a nit-picky detail though. This is an amazing poem with tons of emotion poured into it.

Hello Queen,
This was a great poem showing lots of emotions. I really liked the italicized part that was a poem of its own. The last stanza, "I’m happy, I am/But every rose must fade sometime./Shut everything behind/A wall." was the best in my opinion, particularly with the way you separated "A wall" from everything else. Also, I like the way the first line in each stanza is following the same format. It helps to connect all of the stanzas and bring the poem together.
All in all, this was a great piece. I have no suggestions or changes, just keep writing! Hopefully I'll get the chance to review some of your other works.

-Falco

Heyo, xJ here to review... YOU! c:

Let's go stanza by stanza.

1st Stanza: Good beginning, jumping right into it. And the 2nd line of that stanza is a beautiful line.

2nd Stanza: Once again, the italicized part is my favorite.

3rd Stanza: "I let them think that I care." I now see the gist of this poem, it's about pretending. Well that would explain the title xD

4th Stanza: Showing no expression to what you actually feel. Very nice.

Final stanza: You nailed that ending. Beautiful poem, with a well-fitting title, and a smooth flow. I have absolutely no bad comments. I loved this poem and I can't wait for more of your works in the future! Excellent work.

May your travels through space and time be merry,

-xJ

Hey QueenAnne, Biluata here for a review. I haven't been very active for a little while so I'm a little rusty when it comes to reviews, so here we go.

I'm once again just going to try to focus only on the emotions of these pieces, and yours kind of struck me a little hard, in a really, really good way. I love the way that you presented this piece as a poem within a poem, because it really makes sense, since this whole poem that you wrote is all about pretending. The duel universe type thing going on here really makes the reader stop and think about what's really going on in this poem. and because it is so good, maybe even what is going on in real life, with real people. The emotion of this poem is such a raw emotion, unfiltered, and that is what makes it great.

Congratulations on a great work, and I cannot wait to read more of your stuff.
-Luata