I stare at myself in the mirror, taking in the dark circles underneath my eyes, the tiny cuts on my cheeks from my fingernails, the bitter expression. I look terrible.
At least I have a good reason.
A yellow moon gestures at me from just outside the window. I sigh, wishing I could go outside, if even for a moment. Instead, I step into my bathroom and peel off my clothes slowly. The shower door swings open silently and I turn the water on. When I step in, the hot water washes away my sorrows and I lean back, eyes closed. When I feel composed enough, I shut the water off and reach for my towel.
I manage to finish cleaning my room and put my sheets in the wash before I lose the will to do anything. My feet drag down the stairs as I make my way to the kitchen. I look through the cabinets and the refrigerator, knowing I have to eat. A jam sandwich seems easy enough to make, so I put one together and force myself to take a bite. It tastes like cardboard, stiff and dry, and I gag. Knowing that I won’t be able to finish eating it, I take it upstairs with me. Hopefully, I’d find the ability to eat in a few hours.
I curl up in bed dejectedly.
What’s the point of living if I’m always unhappy?
A tear runs down my cheek and drops onto my blanket. Another follows it. Then another. And then I’m sobbing into a pillow. Why does everyone leave?
I stop crying when my phone rings. My finger shakes as I accept the call.
“Hello?”
“Aurora?” I gulp. Ava wouldn’t be calling me unless they had found Cole.
“Aves?”
Her voice is thick with tears. “Oh, Aure…”
The tears start anew as my heart drops. “What is it? Did they find him?!”
She laughs terribly. “They found him.” She pauses, as if trying to figure out how to put it. “Aurora, he’s dead. They found his body.” I hear yelling in the background, and Ava says, "I have to go. I hope you're okay."
I throw my phone across the room and slide down the wall until I'm sitting on the floor. Burying my head in my knees, I let myself cry- not just for the boy I loved, but for everyone I'd lost in the past six months.
Hours pass. The purplish-grey light of dawn casts a dim glow in my room, and I unfold myself. My joints ache, but the pain is nothing compared to the one in my heart.
I'm never going to see Cole again.
Never.
The realization makes me want to curl up and cry again, but instead, I go outside and head into the woods behind my house. The sun grows in the sky, until I feel sweat dripping down my back, even in the cold. I finally come the steep cliff face, with it's river far, far below.
I sit down on the cold rocks in a patch of sunlight and talk to the friends that are gone.
Forever.
"I love you. All of you." I pause to hold my tears in check, and go on. "You were my kindness. My happiness. My honor." I swallow. "You were everything to me. And you, all of you, you promised to never leave me. We promised to never leave each other."
And now I'm alone.
"If I could bring you back, I would. But I can't. No one can."
So I'll come to you.
The sun is at its highest point. I stand, and stretch, then walk as close to the edge as I can without falling off.
My lips curve into a smile as I blow a kiss toward the sky.
Finally. No more tears. We'll always be together.
As if I am stepping off of a carriage, I let one foot daintily step out into thin air, and then the other.
The smile never leaves my face.
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140,138 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
this is so powerfull. I really like this. your writing is very good
I love the happily-ever-after-but-not-really ending. she gets to stay with Cole forever but not the way she mabye not the way she had planned.
this really shows how devastating a loss can be and how weak a person can be.
I love realistic stories like this one and I was not disappointed reading this one.
keep it up!
Wow, I have to say I was not expecting that. The first paragraph made me think she just couldn't leave her house, now you've left me wondering why she was alone in the woods in the first place and how all her friends (except Ava) died. It's a great story, it really intrigued me, the title drew me in and I don't see much wrong with it. Except one little word is missing.
"I finally come the steep cliff face...", the word missing there is the to between come and the. It's small and doesn't hinder the story in anyway, it would just be nice to have it there. Again, great story, I'm a little sad about the ending though and for Aurora's loneliness, but it's was still good. Keep writing and happy review day.
I'm not going to give this a like because I don't support the theme or the message, but I thought it was well written. Also, you managed to describe the reality of depression as being more than just sadness, which not many people are able to do. Good job on accurately portraying that aspect.
Hello, I'm Maya, and I am a reviewer.
Byee.
I want to start with the ending. I find it somehow beautiful that she ends up killing herself, even though suicide wouldn't really be described as 'beautiful'. She was ending her pain by doing what she felt was right. She wanted to be together with the ones she loved again, and I can understand.
Now, going back to the beginning of the story, I liked how you described her face with so much depth. A wise person once told me, "The more descriptive you are in a character or setting, the better you will become as a writer". Just wanted to throw that in there.
There is one part where I am a bit confused at though. You tell me that she is lying on the bed crying, and then her phone rings. When she hears the news that 'Cole' is dead, she slides down the wall until she's sitting on the floor. I had to stop while reading and backtrack, thinking that maybe I accidentally skipped a paragraph, because I didn't remember her ever standing up. So how did she get from the bed to the wall? That would be something I would consider revising, and maybe saying,
[ The tears start anew as my heart drops. I sprung onto my feet in fear and hope, both at the same time. "What is it? Did they find him?!"] ... or something of that nature. It definitely does not have to be that specifically, but something that indicates that she was standing during the call or before she threw her phone and slid to the floor.
Well, that's all I would suggest, and overall it was an awesome story with a beautiful ending. Keep up the good work, because one day it may pay off.
Hey Dustbunny here! Pretty nice piece if i do say so myself, I didn't see anything really wrong but thought I might make a few suggestions.
"It tastes like cardboard, stiff and dry, and I gag." That particular line has some good description but i feel like its a little choppy and makes you stop and try to read it several times making you fall out of the story. Maybe saying it like "It tastes like cardboard, stiff and dry, making me gag." You can fix that however you prefer, that's just what I thought of.
You might also imply your character's situation a little more, like she's sad, and her friends are dead, but why...? I'm not saying write a prequel novel explaining but maybe imply the situation a little more.
As an interesting side note, I kinda thought the girl was a werewolf in the beginning. Is that just me? Haha, good job