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Beljehgua Tavern: Chapter One

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Beljehgua Tavern

I

I see it. The small village of Mahagelow.

“Welcome to Mahagelow, traveler. I assure you you’ll have a splendid time in our village!” A youth says as I jump off my horse.

“My name is Blavendelle, but most folks around here call me Blav.”

“Yes, yes. Can you direct me to the tavern? I need a drink after riding for hours on end.” I look around, trying to ignore him. 

“Why, sure! Just down the road is Beljehgua Tavern, and let me tell you, the bartender, Lolgur, makes the best ale in all of Grepliege.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

I tie my horse to the hitching post and drop my pack next to him. “Watch this kid, I don’t need any bandits stealing my gear.”

“Yessir! I will watch it closely!”

What a bothersome fellow. I walk on the cobblestone path. I pass many shops. A blacksmith, a bakery, an inn, looks like I’ll be staying there during my time here. I see the tavern, it’s a redwood building, just like the rest of the buildings in this somewhat quaint town. It’s a round pub, round, stained glass windows, a round door, and a round roof. It’s late, the sun had fallen before I arrived. The candles on each and every house light up the town. I hear chanting and singing from the tavern. Fiddles and flutes fill the dead that was once in the air. I enter the tavern and see a multitude of people, each one chanting and singing, since they’re drinking ale, most of them are probably drunk. I lift up my hood and walk to the counter.

“They say you make fine ale here.”

The bartender turns around. He’s a sturdy man with a shaved head, but a heavy, long, bright orange beard. He wears a brown shirt with a dark blue overcoat. He cleans a chalice with a rag and puts it on the counter.

“Oh, others say it’s the prime drink in all of Grepliege, I don’t think so.”

“How much do you charge for a glass?”

“Nothing, for you anyway, I haven’t seen your face at all. Visitors get a complimentary alcohol of their choice. So what will you have, sir?”

“Your ale, the boy who greeted me said it’s the finest.”

“Alright. Oh, you never mentioned your name.”

“You’re right, I didn’t.”

“Man of mystery, I suppose? Well, I don’t give out my surname to everybody.”

“Call me A, it’s enough of a name, without me telling you who I am.”

“Okay, keep your secret.”

He pours the ale into my glass cup, I pick it up, and drink it. It’s flavorsome, much better than any pub in New Mayeux.

“Why, this is wonderful! How could you not enjoy this?”

“I’m not a man of ale.”

“Why, it’s humorous you work in a place like this.”

The drink is cold against my lips. My hand wraps around the cup, the design in the glass makes my fingers feel strange. A girl runs up to the counter. She shouts,

“Oy, lads! Third round’s on me! I’m feeling confident tonight!”

She wears a brown, sleeveless shirt. Her brown hair is short and messy. Her face is covered in freckles and she wears a pair of golden wiry glasses. Her necklace has the letter E engraved into it. The bartender pours nine drinks in front of her.

“Ey, put ‘em all on my tab, wontcha Lolgur?”

“You better have your copper hoags by the end of this week. You have four days Em.”

“I’ll get it back to ya, stop worrying about it.”

She tries to pick up the drinks but her hands become full after just picking two up.

I pick up the rest of the drinks, “Hey, where’s your mates?” I ask.

“I don’t need some hooded assassin picking up my drinks. Get lost, boy.”

“Alright then.”

I set down the drinks and continue drinking mine. She shoves up her glasses and scrunches her nose. “Fine. I don’t need that guy’s help anyway.” She looks around, she looks at me, more at my back than myself. My shield is strapped to my back.

“Hey, can I borrow your shield for a bit?”

“No, I’m not trying to get looted my first night here, especially by some girl like you.”

“I’ll take your drinks over myself, that’s the only way I’ll assist you.”

“It’s a dea-”

“At a cost.” I rub my fingers together.

“What do you want? Me? What are you? A stud?”

“I’m talking about money, you numbskull.”

“I’ll give you a tour of the town, so you know it better. If you’re staying here, you have to know the good places to get gear and food and other things.”

“That works for me.”

I take off my shield and set the drinks on it. I let her lead the way toward her table. I pass by hybrids, lots of them. There are not many in New Mayeux, due to the queen being racist against them. I have nothing against them, I find them… interesting. Elves, dwarves, fairies, orcs, almost every species in Grepliege was here. We reach her table, it’s mostly elves and humans.

“Who’s the mystery man, Em?”

“He’s just helping me bring the drinks over, he's not doing anything else, right?” She lifts up her tank to show a dagger attached to her pants. I lift my shirt to show her my jagged sword. Her eyes pop out, and she scoffs.

“You probably don’t know how to use it.” She stutters a lot. She sits down with the rest of her friends.

“Seven o' clock tomorrow, I’ll meet you by the fountain.”

I nod my head and walk off. I come back to the counter to see Lolgur cleaning glasses.

“That’s Embrazia, she’s almost like a warrior in our little village. She showed up here one day in a wagon of hay. We took her in ever since.” He explains

“She acts like no other woman I’ve met.”

“She’s quite a character. And so are you, you don’t talk much, are you a shyman?”

“Lord no, I hate shymen. They’re hiding something, it’s been a personal goal of mine to figure out their intentions.”

“Well, I’ve met a few and you are right, they are quite suspicious fellows.”

He takes my empty glass and shakes my hand.

“Welcome to Mahagelow, A.”

I feel a cold, solid object in my hand. I open my hand to see a jade hoag. Jade hoags were rare currency, only a few men still have some from all those years ago when Grepliege was founded. Jade was used to make most weapons. The jade distribution was unfair and the nation split. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. I look back at the counter, and Lolgur is gone. Nowhere to be seen.

I leave the tavern. I walk back to my gear I left next to my horse. It’s still there. Thank the lord. I grab my gear and walk up to the inn. A wooden sign hangs above the door.

Mage’s Inn

I walk in, a bell rings at the top of the door. A tall, slim man comes from behind.

“Welcome to the Mage’s Inn. May I help youu…” His voice trails off.

“You got any rooms? I’ll be staying here for a while, a long while.”

He turns around and hands me a key. I slide down 40 hoags across the counter.

“Room 8, s-second floor.”

“Thank you, kind sir.”

I walk up the redwood stairs and unlock my room. It’s small, but it’ll do. It has a nice, redwood bed, a desk, and a wardrobe. I undress and get ready to sleep. I climb into bed and shut my eyes.

Just remember what you’re here for Axurald.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Hi, quick review for your chapter!
This was a good beginning for your book! Your style of writing is interesting, the dialogue in the chapter implies that this takes place in a somewhat medival-ish, oldern times, I-don't-know-what-to-call-it setting, and I like reading things like this, but that's just me.
So let's start from the beginning of this chapter.

“Welcome to Mahagelow, traveler. I assure you you’ll have a splendid time in our village!” A youth says as I jump off my horse. “My name is Blavendelle, but most folks around here call me Blav.” “Yes, yes. Can you direct me to the tavern? I need a drink after riding for hours on end.” I look around, trying to ignore him.

This here tells us a lot of things, with not too many words, and not telling it to us directly. We know that the village is called Mahagelow, there's this optimistic boy who is at the front of the village, the main character has been riding on his horse to here for hours, and that he seems to be very grumpy and doesn't like the boy's excitement in his arrival.
What a bothersome fellow. I walk on the cobblestone path. I pass many shops. A blacksmith, a bakery, an inn, looks like I’ll be staying there during my time here. I see the tavern, it’s a redwood building, just like the rest of the buildings in this somewhat quaint town. It’s a round pub, round, stained glass windows, a round door, and a round roof. It’s late, the sun had fallen before I arrived. The candles on each and every house light up the town. I hear chanting and singing from the tavern. Fiddles and flutes fill the dead that was once in the air.

This is a good paragraph, it has lots of detail and imagery, and I'm able to imagine in my mind what the character is seeing. There is also more character development here about how he doesn't like the boy who greeted him at the front of the village.
The bartender turns around. He’s a sturdy man with a shaved head, but a heavy, long, bright orange beard. He wears a brown shirt with a dark blue overcoat. He cleans a chalice with a rag and puts it on the counter.

This is another really descriptive paragraph. You gave a lot of physical details about the bartender, which is really good.
In the conversation with the character and Embrazia, I got a little confused about who was talking.
“Hey, can I borrow your shield for a bit?” - Embrazia

“No, I’m not trying to get looted my first night here, especially by some girl like you.” - Axurald

“I’ll take your drinks over myself, that’s the only way I’ll assist you.” - Embrazia

“It’s a dea-” - Axurald

“At a cost.” I rub my fingers together. - Embrazia?

“What do you want? Me? What are you? A stud?” - Axurald

“I’m talking about money, you numbskull.” - Embrazia

“I’ll give you a tour of the town, so you know it better. If you’re staying here, you have to know the good places to get gear and food and other things.” - Embrazia also?? I'm confused.

“That works for me.” - Axurald

And then for the anding, the last paragraph is good.
I walk up the redwood stairs and unlock my room. It’s small, but it’ll do. It has a nice, redwood bed, a desk, and a wardrobe. I undress and get ready to sleep. I climb into bed and shut my eyes.

Just remember what you’re here for Axurald.

The end is exciting because it makes me want to know what happens in the next chapter. And it makes me ask the question, who is he and what is he here for?
And one last thing: just to make sure, Mahagelow is the village, Grepliege is the...country?? And New Mayeux is the state?? Can you state the difference somewhere? I wasn't really sure. Unless I skipped something.
But that's it, happy writing and I'm excited to read the next chapter!

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MagicMilk Review

Okay first of all I loved the way you described the bar. The way you described it made it very easy to visualize. I also liked the greeter boy at the beginning. He was funny, especially in contrast to the main character. Even if he doesn't become an "official" side character, I hope to see him again soon.

Also... I'm interested in the world of New Mayeux. Why is the queen prejudice against hybrids? Was she always this way? Is her prejudice expressed in only interactions with hybrids or does it seep into her law making process? I might be looking too deep into this, haha. But it's cool to wonder about, I think.

I honestly love the fact that Embrazia just showed up in a hay wagon and a group of people were like, "yeah, we're friends now" and basically adopted her. I'm not sure if that's what actually happened though. Still funny to imagine.

I also like how you only revealed the main character's name at the end. I don't know why, it just feels better like this. Maybe it's because we're in the same position as the characters for a little bit, knowing completely nothing about this mystery man.

Nice chapter, good luck with the next!



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