Seven Secret Societies

For Halloween, I thought it would be neat to dive into some real-life mysteries. The true crime fan in me was thinking about talking about a real case. The old Creepypasta teen was begging to look into some cryptids or hauntings. If either of these sound interesting, I am willing to take recommendations.

However, what I settled on was something a little more elaborate, and extra mysterious. With many high-profile scandals in recent years, I think some of us may still be thinking about what happens behind the closed gates of celebrity manors and luxury ballrooms. When creepy rednecks get together in the backwoods, you sometimes get a cult. When creepy city punks get together in a warehouse, you sometimes get a militia. However, what happens when elites get together? Not just in places that are isolated or hidden from the public, but intentionally and heavily restricted? We know it’s there, however, most of us can never even think about gaining entry, or catching a glimpse beyond the iron doors and tinted glass.

Let’s talk about that. Here, we’ll look at seven of the most infamous secret societies, through the lens of the seven deadly sins, and how they all keep their mysterious allure to this day. Likewise, in the spirit of Halloween, we’ll go through some creepy speculations, from the totally outlandish, to the unnervingly inconclusive.

Note: these societies are connected to hundreds of rumors, conspiracy theories, and wild speculation. Please bear with me, as for the educational and real aspects of these stories, I will do my best to clearly separate fact from speculation. Just to be safe, though, however wild your imagination runs in the forefront, just remember to keep a seed of doubt in the back of your mind as you read.

Pride: Skull And Bones.

The Skull And Bones Society is among the oldest surviving college fraternities in the country. With its origins in Yale University, in Connecticut, the club is centered around a specific building on the campus known as “The Tomb”, which all but members are barred entry to.

On the surface, it sounds like your standard edgy club for college students, but it’s the historical quality of this group that, in part, drives the fascination with it. After all, Yale College was founded before America was even recognized as an independent country, in the year 1701, and the Skull And Bones society itself was formed by elite alumni in 1832. Construction on their beloved “Tomb” was finished in 1856. A single, windowless building on the far west side of campus.

The emblem of the society is, naturally, a skull and crossed bones, above the number “322”. Many believe it refers to the date 322 BC, when the Greek orator, Demosthenes, died. Demosthenes was known as a great speaker in Athens, who inspired iconic figures in Ancient Greek politics, and most believe the number is intended to honor him, and his fostering of early Democratic ideals. A few more skeptical types think it’s to celebrate his death, in observation of the Plutocracy (the rule of the elite) he spoke against.

Admission to Skull And Bones, much like some modern college fraternities, was reserved for very select members of the university. Only the cream of the crop: the ultra-rich with an outstanding family history. These lucky juniors would be ritually chosen on the dedicated “tap night”, where a member (known as a Bonesman) would clap their selection on the shoulder as a sign that they had been chosen.

Historically, the society was male-centric, only bringing on their first female member in 1992. Several major figures in US history were Bonesmen in their time at Yale, including several high-ranking politicians, as well as journalists, lawyers, professors, and more. Among the most notable were William Taft (27th POTUS), John Kerry (2004 Presidential Candidate), George H.W. Bush (41st POTUS), George W. Bush (43rd POTUS), and several of their direct family members.

What gives this secret society a more creepy air, than even other historical college fraternities and sororities, is how elusive the details are. Though the list of members is often publicized, the society keeps their affairs highly secret. Likewise, a Google search reveals only a few photos allegedly taken within The Tomb, from a grainy black and white camera. There is no credit taken for the photos, no date attached, and there are no people in the frames, adding to the age-old theory that the photos were taken from someone who had to break inside. Someone supposedly too frightened to take credit for such a stunt, despite all the intrigue generated by local rumors and legends. Any other photos and videos are either solely from the exterior of the building, or they are debunked as staged. Even most YouTube walkthroughs will only circle the structure, and ones that do claim to go inside are swiftly proven to be other dated Yale buildings, or even random abandoned churches.

There have been countless rumors about what goes on behind The Tomb’s closed doors, from what sounds like a cringe college hazings, to macabre rituals with an occult edge. For example, there are rumors about an initiation ritual, where one lies in a coffin naked, speaks openly about their s**ual history, while the Bonesmen chant “rebirth, rebirth” as they circle the coffin. Many graduated Bonesmen’s political and CIA connections have led to a range of conspiracy theories, such as having a hand in high-profile assassinations. The club owning a private “getaway” island under their trade name, the Russell Trust Association, doesn’t help. Some have even gone as far as to compare it to the much more notorious Epstein island, even though there is no evidence of foul play (definitely not to that horrible of a degree).

However, the most famous legend, which even resulted in a lawsuit, was that the skull of an Apache leader, Geronimo, was stolen, and lies among the relics inside The Tomb. 

The alleged ringleader was Prescott Bush, grandfather of George W. Bush, and the claim only grew stronger when the photos of The Tomb were leaked, revealing a number of realistic skulls on display. Now, it should be noted that in this time period, it really wasn’t hard to buy skeletal remains, especially for a college campus, or members of wealthy families. However, graverobbing and bodysnatching were a real problem even to that date, which didn’t help debunk anything. 

In 2009, Geronimo’s descendents sued Yale for the return of the skull, demanding a DNA test be conducted on any skulls in possession of the society. However, there remains no definitive evidence that Geronimo’s monument was ever tampered with, and therefore, no compelling evidence that the skull was taken to begin with. The lawsuit ultimately failed, and while the original allegation could have been a macabre rumor that simply gained too much traction, the prevalence after all this time is impressive.

A similar story exists regarding Elihu Yale (historical Yale University benefactor and donor). Rumors claim that Bonesmen stole a stone slab from the man’s grave, displaying it behind glass in The Tomb. Looking through the photos, there does seem to be a large slab of engraved stone, above the mantel of a fireplace. Which does resemble the engraved sides of Elihu Yale’s grave. However, without more verifiable evidence, an investigation was never conducted, and there has never been a lawsuit.

Whatever is true or not about the legends, the Skull And Bones society is objectively built upon elitism, powerful names, and even more powerful connections. Despite recent attempts to “modernize” the society, there is still a sense of classist and identity-based admission rules, keeping up with the patterns of the past. I think this is what makes Skull And Bones the best example of Pride.

Envy: The Freemasons.

(Warning: mentions of antisemitism).

As with many organizations, there are two ways to define Freemasonry. One take is as an ambiguous set of ideals, combining into a sort of pseudo-religious philosophy. The other take, however, is as a secret society whose founding predates America, and even the Tudor era in England. Originally composed of, literally, masons.

The predominant theory is that the Masons started with actual stonemasons and cathedral builders as early as the 14th century. With the highly religious aspect of being a church builder, and allowing honorary members due to declining numbers, the society not only expanded its numbers, but its own beliefs and religious orders. It formally founded itself with the formation of the first Grand Lodge (“lodge” referring to a group of Masons) in 1717.

Though the Freemasons are often thought of as a Christian organization, I should note that the Freemasons themselves declare, historically and today, that they are not Christian. Actually, they’ve faced opposition from other religious bodies, especially the Roman Catholic Church. However, one of the only two requirements to join the Freemasons had religious undertones. The first requirement was that you were an adult male, and the second was that you had to believe in a single supreme entity, and immortality of the soul. On top of that, most Lodges deemed Atheists to be unsound of mind, and an unreliable source of information.

Freemasonry spread over the ages, with more “Lodges” appearing in other countries, including France, Germany, the United States, Canada, Australia, Brazil, and more. As for membership, it was far from limited to nameless and long-forgotten builders. Nine of America’s Founding Fathers were Freemasons, including Benjamin Franklin, Theodore Roosevelt, John Hancock, and George Washington himself. 15 of the 45 US presidents were Freemasons. 19 members of ruling royalty across Europe, especially in Britain, also Freemasons. Other famous members throughout history include Davy Crocket, Lewis and Clark, Voltaire, Mozart, Benedict Arnold, John Wayne, Isaac Newton, Harry Houdini, Winston Churchill, Henry Ford, Buzz Aldrin, Roy Rogers, even Shaquille O’Neal.

Freemasonry, while far from mainstream, does still exist today. It is predominately kept alive in its birth country of the British Isles, but there are chapters, divisions, and organizations directly inspired by the Masons across several countries. To the public, they act more as centers for community support and charity work, and aren’t involved with religious or government affairs. On top of that, they seem very decentralized, with little if any coordination between Masonic bodies.

That said, the expansive history and deep secrecy has sparked [i]thousands[/i] of conspiracy theories throughout the years, from occultic rituals to NWO involvement. There is simply something about a secretive link between the ultra-wealthy and government figures that forces people to assume the worst (in fairness, while I don’t believe in lizard globalists, I can’t blame anyone for being just a little suspicious in 2025, haha). The exposure of a major Lodge in Italy, Propaganda Due, did not help this theory die down, after it was revealed to have been conspiring with the Mafia and its international crime.

The religious speculations about the Masons are equally scattered, including rumors that they know the true identity of the Judeo-Christian God, have their own Masonic god, and-or worship Baal, Baphomet, Saturn, and other ancient icons that have since been associated with bloody rituals. This, and the alleged “overrepresentation” of Jewish individuals among Lodges, even led to a rise of antisemetic and anti-Masonic rhetoric across the Arab world in the 1980s, enough that texts from the theologian who made this connection were adopted in the Charter of Hamas. Needless to say, while the Charter does have such texts, none of this is verified.

However, whatever we’re able to disprove, we still can’t prove what does go on, and that’s what drives the fascination with groups like this. The Freemasons have been highly secretive for as long as they’ve existed, and leaking these secrets, in historical contexts, is rumored to have brought punishments including brutal mutilation and death. Even today, it’s said that leaving is an option, but intentionally difficult, with members expected to pay their lifetime’s worth of fees all at once. This has to be an inconceivable sum of money, enough to make even A-list celebrities tear up. If it’s true.

I’ve rambled about speculation and legends enough, though. The single biggest, tangible controversy involving the Freemason society is the story of William Morgan.

Morgan claimed to have been a member of a major Canadian Lodge, before moving to New York and speaking about how the Masons were not what they seemed on the surface. Enough that, in 1826, he announced his intention to publish a book that would “expose the secrets” of the Freemasons. A string of incidents followed this, including an attempt to burn down the newspaper headquarters and print shop that would publish the book. Then, Morgan himself was almost arrested on a phony nonpayment charge, a sentence that would start before he could publish. The print shop owner paid his debt, but Morgan was promptly re-arrested for allegedly not paying a $2 tavern bill. Then, shortly after all of this, Morgan just disappeared.

Many jumped to the idea that Freemasons had kidnapped and “silenced” him, despite the lack of evidence. Over a year later, a badly-decomposed body even washed ashore at Lake Ontario, leading to speculation that it was him, despite the lack of evidence. Others claimed that Morgan fled the country, and rumors of sightings circled, but were never confirmed.

Finally, just as the stories started to make headlines, a group of anonymous Masons came forward and insisted that they gave Morgan $500 to leave the country, and did not harm him in any way. That led to countless more takes, positive and negative, consuming NY newspapers of the time. The rumor mill will tell you that Morgan’s book was burned, but in truth, “Freemasonry Exposed” was ultimately pushed through and published one year after his disappearance. The book detailed all kinds of secrets and sordid rituals that the Masons allegedly partook in, but of course, the claims have never been verified. Not in one specific Lodge, or any collectives abroad.

Regardless of what really happens behind the sealed doors, the Freemasons do largely promote a positive message of community engagement, donations, and charity work. However, it’s important to remember that sometimes, the entities behind the slogan don’t always live up to what they preach. Many Masonic Lodges are like luxury clubs, some of the most exclusive and difficult to get into. Many view it not as a method for the wealthy to aid the community, but as another method to associate with elites and boost one’s own status. This generates a deeply competitive market, an undeniable Envy, among those vying to enter, trying to climb the ladder just like anywhere else in the sludge of Hollywood, big business, or mainstream politics.

Greed: The Bilderberg Meeting.

It’s not a “secret society” as much as it is a mysterious annual meeting. Every year, 120 to 150 influential figures across academia, media, finance, and industry, will converge in different European or American countries. What happens in the meeting is kept very secret, but the goal is to create a private, informal space to communicate, without the weight of existing responsibilities.

Originally, in the 1950s, the Bilderberg Meeting was started to help maintain a dialogue between Western countries and allies during the Cold War, and the meeting quickly became an annual tradition. The Bilderberg Meeting still happens every year, usually flying under the radar in the news cycle.

The latest attendees include chairholders, CEOs, and more from major companies. National and international. These representatives (former and present) include those who work for: Amazon, Paypal, Starbucks, Fiat, Shell Oil and Gas, Nokia, Nestle, Honeywell, BP Oil, Pfizer, Mercedes-Benz, Toyota, China Center of Economic Research, University of Amsterdam, Stanford University, Harvard University, University of London, The Russian Nanotechnology Corporation, Google, DeepMind AI, Open AI, The Economist, The Observer, Microsoft, CBC, NBC, ABC, CNN, The Washington Post, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Palantir. Major bankers tied to the Bank of Canada, the Rothschilds, Deutsche Bank, Chase, the Soroses, the Wallenbergs, the Europe Central Bank, even members of the Federal Reserve are less-recognizeable yet very regular attendees. Politicians are typically avoided, but some who made lists in the past include former POTUS Bill Clinton, US Senator Lindsay Graham, former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, and former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

Now, as you can imagine, the idea of top-ranking executives from the most influential transnational companies in the West, converging in one massive and very secret meeting, immediately sets off people’s imaginations. Some see them simply as the 1% of every country, coming together to talk business. Others see them as a shadowy croney-capitalist cabal with more malicious intentions. Either way, all we know about the Bilderberg Meetings are the guest and written topic list that they quietly release every year. There are no recordings or photos allowed, and attendees may use the information they obtain from the meeting, but may not disclose who or where it came from.

There’s the typical wild conspiracy theories that apply here, but at least some are more rational in their suspicions, with the only fears being those about lobbying, price fixing, etcetera etcetera. Continuing along that train of thought, there are things about the Bilderberg Meetings that are worth getting the shivers over, idepending on how you look at it.

The biggest revelation was that the group was founded by a Nazi. Not someone who ambiguously or allegedly aligns with Nazi values today, I mean literally, a member of the original Nazi party. The primary founder of the Bilderberg Meetings was Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands, in 1954, with the intention I already stated: to generate more communication between Western nations amid the Cold War. The rumors about his Nazi ties followed him for a long time, until he firmly denied it one last time, in the final interview before his death. However, since then, documents have been retrieved from Berlin's Humboldt University proving his association with the party, up until the year of 1934. The fact that David Rockefeller was later added to the guest list didn’t help, as rumors of him funding the Nazi party’s eugenics program are also strong, despite the lack of similar paper trails. Regardless of how deep this connection ran, and regardless if the Prince had a change of heart, it understandably leaves a sour taste in the mouth of many, and really shifts the framing of the annual meetings.

There are, likewise, hundreds of claims that the Bilderberg groups have had an influence in wars across the world. The most notable is the war in Kosovo, following the downfall of the Soviet Union, and the rise of Serbian nationalist leader, Slobodan Milosevic. It is said that the Bilderberg group intentionally used their media and banking ties to manipulate racial tensions across Yugoslav, while simultaneously funding Milosevic’s Kosovo Liberation Army. The goal: to ignite and escalate a civil war that could only end with the intervention of the UN. Naturally, there’s no real evidence of this, although there are still strong claims and speculations about how Milosevic and-or the KLA received massive lumpsums of funding…

Regardless of what’s true and what’s not, surrounding the Bilderbergs, one thing is for sure: this is a group composed of the heads of the largest companies across several countries, and it is expanding well beyond the West by now. Even though so many of them insist there is no lobbying, money manipulation, or sinister business schemes happening behind the sealed doors, there’s just something inherently unnerving to many people, about that worldwide 1% coming together, under the banner of “your secrets are safe, don’t worry about what the common man will say”. With all of that combined, in my opinion, they earned the spot of Greed in this list.

Wrath: The Black Hand.

While most secret societies give the impression that they are harmless, or that their rhetoric is all talk and no game, there are some who slip through the cracks, turning from a mysterious club to a genuine threat. One that can trigger a whole series of terrible events. The Black Hand, also known as Unification Or Death, is one of those societies.

The Black Hand’s origins are murky to this day, but the society formed in response to the Austria-Hungary annexation of several Slavic European countries, as an offshoot of other anti-imperialist political revolutionaries particularly strong within Serbia. 

Colonel Dragutin Dimitrijevic, alongside many other army officers, and even government officials, started the society in 1911. Their tactics included the creation and distribution of anti-Austrian propaganda, while organizing spies and saboteurs to operate in occupied provinces. Members hardly knew anything about eachother, to encourage secrecy, and were sworn to obedience by an oath. 

By 1914, the organization became more terroristic in nature, and intentionally obscured its existence under the umbrella of the pre-existing and more “mainstream” Narodna Adbrona. Their goal was not subtle: they were out for blood. They weren’t alone, either, inspiring more Black Hand cells or similar factions to form in Slovenia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Croatia. The Black Hand had, itself, expanded to hundreds of members, including Crown Prince Alexander, as a major donor and supporter. 

With the support the society had, even minor opposition became very dangerous, with political assassinations becoming a viable tool. After all, they had already carried out the assassinations of the royal couple of Serbia, King Alexander Obrenovic I and Queen Draga, alongside the Prime Minister, the Minister of the Army, and General-Adjutant. All in a historical coup d'etat known as the May Coup.

It was in that same year that the Black Hand’s actions would spiral out of control, and the conflict would extend far beyond the borders of Serbia or Austria.

[Edited for clarity:] The heir of Austrian monarchy, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, was visiting Sarajevo, Bosnia, in June of 1914, to inspect Austrian troops in the area. Known for his support of policies that would elevate south Slavs to more equal political power, and promote Serbian Nationalism, Ferdinand had the potential to be an ally in political terms, even though most didn’t trust him. However, Colonel Dimitrijevic saw him as a threat to their revolution, and decided he needed to go. Though sloppy, the job was done: three young members of the Black Hand carried out the asassination, and one of them shot the Archduke almost point-blank in his car. The three responsible for the attack would be smuggled away before they could be caught.

Following the assassination, and the obvious slip in this society’s mask, the Austria-Hungary empire declared war on Serbia. Some rallied behind Serbia, allies of the empire joined the battle, and past the point of no return, the once-small dispute escalated into one of the primary triggers for the first World War. Over nine million military deaths, and seven million civilian deaths followed. By the end, many nations regained independence, everyone involved had been damaged on some front, and the dynasties of the Romanovs, the Hohenzollerns, the Habsburgs, and the Ottomans all fell.

The leaders of the Black Hand were brought to trial in Salonika, in 1917. Dimitrijevic and two others were executed, while more than 200 members were arrested.

The Black Hand is different from other secret societies. Not only was its “secret” practically dissolved in the end, but there were no whispers of occultic rituals, no grim legends, and no allure of elusive billionaires conspiring behind a curtain. What makes the story of the Black Hand scary is the reality of war, the rapid escalation, and all of the suffering that followed. I think, for that reason, the Black Hand is the perfect embodiment of Wrath.

Gluttony: Bohemian Grove.

(Warning: mentions child a**se).

The Bohemian Grove is secluded in the redwood forests of California, a 2,700 sq acre patch of land. It is the host for its incredibly wealthy and influential members: an elite, invitation-only secret society, founded in California, in 1872. 

Anyone uninvited is forced to keep out, and the only photos from inside are leaked under equally secretive circumstances. The land is said to have a small lake, a commissary, a theater, an artist’s studio, and an infirmary. The goal, similar to the Bilderberg Meeting, is to create an environment where elites can “drop their guard” and speak without the pressure of media or work. It is mostly known for its annual summer meeting, with feasts and private demonstrations. An event mired in secrecy, controversy, and thousands of conspiracies.

The members list of Bohemian Grove, especially today, can be hard to explore in full. Many did not reveal themselves, but were “exposed” at the Grove. Even so, it’s said that thousands have been invited, with a waitlist for many more. The most notable members we know of are: Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Lyndon Banes Johnson, Woodrow Wilson, Jerry Brown, Newt Gingrich, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Henry Kissinger, Charles Schwab, Clint Eastwood, Jimmy Page, Axl Rose, Mark Twain, and more.

There is always speculation on who else may or may not be involved with Bohemian Grove, for a multitude of reasons. Many suspect Bill Clinton was an unspoken part of the group, due to his playful references to the club of elites. While one more elaborate theory insists the song “Bohemian Rhapsody” was, at least in part, a subtle message from Freddie Mercury, surrounding some occultic rituals that he saw happen within the society.

Naturally, we don’t have a read on everything that happens on this secretive patch of land. Many journalists have tried to infiltrate it, but most were caught and failed. That said, the most realistic scandals revolve around illegal logging on the property, including endangered redwood trees, and more fears of lobbying or corrupt business practices. Though not illegal, many are also annoyed by the male dominance and general disallowance of female members.

The society has a phrase that members must speak like an oath before entering: “Weaving Spiders Come Not Here." This means that whatever business you have outside the society, or whoever you meet inside, that you cannot make any deals or conduct business on the grounds. However, since this only applies to “official” meetings, and some members are permitted to use the grounds however they please at certain times of the year, there is an obvious loophole that can be exploited.

Dipping into the more elaborate stories, though, strange practices are said to take place in Bohemian Grove. Journalist Philip Weiss was one of the only journalists that managed to sneak inside Bohemian Grove, and filmed the two-part entertainment. “The Low Jinks” included low-brow humor with feats of crossdressing and scantily-clad dancers. “The High Jinks” were surprisingly well-composed plays, featuring everything from poetry recitation, to grand portrayals of legends like Saint Patrick at Tera. 

A while later, in the year 2000, then-investigative journalist Alex Jones (I know, I know, bear with me) became the next person to successfully infiltrate the Grove, and filmed the strange “Cremation of Care” ceremony. The men dress in hooded red robes, carrying lit torches and a coffin-shaped box with a mannequin labeled “Care”. They gather by the private lake, then extinguish the torches, as other members emerge, playing the role of tree spirits. They dance as the pseudo-priests chant about “casting the cares of the real world behind”. Finally, they load Care onto a ferry, and push him out onto the lake. Care arrives at an altar, before a large cement owl statue. A funeral pyre is lit, and the members carry on, merry-making into the night. Footage of “Care” burning at the foot of the statue is still available on the internet.

There are some people who worked for the Grove, who have since come out and claimed that it’s not as mystical as it seems. They put on these strange rituals as a spectacle, and while there are definitely scandals that emerge due to the secrecy and high rate of alcohol consumption, it’s just what you’d expect from a bunch of drunk, rowdy, powerful people with no cameras to worry about. Others would disagree, putting forth their own claims and theories.

Some say that the giant owl statue is intended to represent the Canaanite deity, Moloch. Others say that they’re not completely honest about the map of the Grove, and that there are secret rooms, including a mysterious underground area. The most disturbing of all these claims, however, are those about sacrifice. 

Rumors about accidental deaths on the property (few verifiable) escalate into whispers of potential murder in some corners of the internet, with all sorts of speculation on the motive and connection to elites. The most significant of these stories is the alleged child s**rifice in 1984. While writing a book on the Franklin cover-up scandal, author John DeCamp obtained testimony from an investigator tied to the case, Paul Bonacci, that he had watched the sn*ff film of a young boy, on July 26, 1984. The video featured men in red hoods, a bonfire, a moss-covered owl statue, and big trees in the background. DeCamp edited out the details of Bonacci’s testimony, fearing they would be “too far fetched” for any reader to believe. However, in 1992, four years after the book was published and eight years after Bonacci had allegedly found the snuff film, a black and white photo of Bohemian Grove’s owl statue was finally leaked. It was shown to Bonacci, who confirmed it was no doubt the same place in the snuff film. The eerie discovery was made available to law enforcement, however, the validity was questioned, and no investigation was ever made.

Whatever you choose to believe about Bohemian Grove, what we know without a doubt is that this is a group of elites that gather with the sole purpose of engorging themselves, wallowing in king-like pleasure with large meals, elaborate rituals, and a lot of alcohol. I think no club better represents Gluttony, even beyond this list.

Lust: Order Of The Nine Angles (ONA).

(Warning: mentions of s**ual ab*se, child ab*se, racism, antisemitism).

The Order Of The Nine Angles, while smaller and much less elaborate, is genuinely among the scarier and vastly more malicious secret societies of the modern age, enough to have been designated a Tier 1 domestic terror threat by the FBI. 

It is primarily based on the internet, with many roots (and its more militarized branch) in the Deep Web, amid anonymous tangles of sn*ff films, occult rituals, and black markets. The playbook is an unholy combination of all our worst factions in society. Predominantly, they are Satanists, but have borrowed ideology from Hermetic and Pagan rituals, Neo-Nazi rhetoric, Anarchist or Anarcho-Communist action, Apocalyptic Nihilism, and other forms of extremism across every aisle of every ideology. It really just comes off as a group that wants to watch the world burn, and will latch onto anything to justify it.

ONA originated in 1973, in Britain, when a man named Andrew Long became the grand master of a small, secretive circle of pre-Christian Pagan worshipers. It was Long’s presence that led to ONA slowly taking on more radical ideology, keeping much of its roots in occultism and mysticism, but dipping heavily into Satanic belief, while using the allure of explicit and s**ually immoral vices to draw in more questionable members. This wasn’t just the typical cult-coded forms of polyamory and o*gies, but direct encouragement of a**se, r*pe, p***philia, and the spreading of all related material. 

Through the 80s, they tested the water of politics, fitting right into the extreme and violent ends of it. They took after Neo-Nazism and Militant Anarchy, and established links with other underground Satanic societies, such as the Temple ov Blood in the US, and the Black Order in New Zealand. By the 2000s, still flying under the radar, ONA embraced modernization, and infected the early, unregulated internet.

A lot of ONA’s takes have been absolutely bizarre. They’ve promoted the idea that human civilization has been divided into “aeons”, and that the highest aeon is threatened by the existence of Judeo-Christian religion, and the infiltration of “Western religion minorities”. This ideology fuels the Order’s desire to establish a new social order, which it calls the Imperium, before (or for) the Aryan nations to one day conquer the Milky Way galaxy. In the meantime, they preach that s**ual assault is the best form of rebellion, defiance of existing law and authority is necessary, human sacrifice to the cause is required to truly “ascend” in the society, and members can use magic by channeling energy from the "acausal" realm, where the laws of physics do not apply.

In short: it’s a bunch of schizophrenic psycho-garble with no sense, consistency, or remote basis in reality.

Unfortunately, some people discover ONA when they’re young or vulnerable, indoctrinated in its psychotic beliefs before they can realize the trap they’re in. Others more malicious types latch onto the violent rhetoric, using ONA as an excuse to express the worst part of themselves. Either way, several attacks and plots have been linked back to the Order Of The Nine Angles, or one of its associated branches, including 764 and No Lives Matter (either of which focus more on online attacks, doxxing, grooming, and selling CSAM). The majority of real-world schemes are foiled before they can come to fruition, but it’s chilling to think what could happen if they didn't, and that’s evidenced by the few that weren’t stopped in time.

A few horrifying cases in recent history, which have produced evidence of ONA influence (direct or indirect), includes four Russian members that admitted to s**rificing and c***ibalizing at least two victims, 3 cases of church arson in Louisiana, a 23 year old Valencian man threatening to shoot and bomb a school, MP Jo Cox’s assassination, an attempted Gateshead school bombing, Ethan Melzer’s plan to execute the servicemen in his unit, even the Annunciation Catholic School shooter, with symbology from ONA and its sub-branches amid the many horrible messages written on the weapons. The latter is the best way to represent this group: nothing coherent, nothing purely aligned with our typical “parties” in society, just utter derangement and resentment for innocent life.

ONA’s targeting of the vulnerable, Deep Web anonymity, and decentralized structure make it difficult to track. Likewise, its messaging has grown only more chaotic as time passes, and the political scene becomes more heated. Many find it in the deep sludge of Neo-Nazi conspiracies, some in Anarchist circles, and others in the deep rabbit hole of Nihilism and Satanic rituals. The reason I ascribed Lust to ONA, though, is its depraved take on s** abuse, especially toward children. For this reason and more, the Order Of The Nine Angles was among the hardest secret societies to research, much less to write about, and I would sternly caution anyone interested in doing a deeper dive with this society.

Sloth: The Illuminati.

Finally, what is probably the most infamous secret society in common knowledge, enough to have their own page on Villains Wiki (I am not even kidding). 

Latin for “the enlightened”, the Illuminati emerged in the 15th century, as mostly decentralized groups of individuals who believed themselves to be a higher class of human, closer to the exalted “light” and acting on a higher plane of human intelligence. The earliest traces of such groups were across the Mediterranean region of Europe, particularly in Spain and Italy. 

The earliest tangible leader was a woman from Salamanca, who led the early Spanish chapter, the Alumbrado, as a teenager. Maria de Santo Domingo, also known as La Beata de Piedrahita. Many believed she was so close to the Light, that she could communicate directly with Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary. Maria gained such renown among powerful figures in Spain, including kings, dukes, and cardinals, that even as she was put through a series of trials, orchestrated by the Dominicans and Pope Julius II himself in the larger movement that was the Inquisition, Maria was cleared of all her charges. In this era, it could take a miracle (especially for a poor-class woman) to be cleared of just one. In the following decades, the Inquisition claimed some from the Alumbrado, but many more continued to evade the ongoing persecution.

By the 1620s, the movement spread underground, appearing (or expanding) in France, Egypt, and Germany. Different chapters took to slightly different beliefs over time, with some weaving in elements of Jewish mysticism, the art of alchemy, and several forms of occultic belief, philosophy, and practices. 

However, the most noteworthy chapter, and where the title “Illuminati” as we recognize it emerged, was in the Bavarian region, in 1776. A secret society, as they all were, whose leader was Adam Weishaupt, former Jesuit and professor. He took to the idea of replacing Christianity with a “religion of reason”, spreading it stealthily throughout the region. Members, who were made to swear complete secrecy and total obedience to Weishaupt, were divided into three tiers: the novices, the freemasons, and a third “mystery” class that included so-called priests, regents, and kings. The members targeted young men with wealth, nobility, and-or influence, using them as cover and as a conduit to spread the ideology throughout the surrounding Germanic countries. 

In 1778, they finally converted the heads of some Masonic lodges, forming a sort of underground pact between two secret societies. To add to the mysterious nature, all transcripts were spoken about in a cipher, while towns and members were addressed with different classical names and designations. By then, the Illuminati quietly spread to Denmark, Poland, Russia, and revived its chapters in France and Italy in this new era. The hard number of members is believed to not have succeeded 2,000, but the beliefs spoke to many early Germanic speakers, artists, poets, and more.

However, in 1785, the society began to suffer from an unclear internal dissension, destabilizing it across all of Europe. That led to the Bavarian Illuminati, and all other secret societies, being banned by the regional government. Some members were imprisoned, others fled, while Weishaupt himself was stripped of his titles and credibility, and banished from the country. Most traces of the Illuminati slowly phased out from there, but rumors about underground chapters continued to circulate, leading to a wide host of conspiracy theories. Some were reasonable, insisting that some pre-existing members simply continued to practice and preach underground. Others believed the remaining Illuminati used their influence over powerful figures to inspire dissent, and to orchestrate events like the French Revolution.

With that lengthy history covered, let’s dip into modernity. As the Illuminati recruited genuinely powerful and influential figures in its time, many can’t help but believe that a secretive adjacent is doing the same today, recruiting high-ranking figures in modern society. This has led to accusations against everyone from George Bush and Donald Trump, to Beyonce and Madonna. Likewise, because of the briefly-lived pact between the Bavarian Illuminati and the Masonic lodges, many believe associates with one implies an association with the other. Therefore, it’s not uncommon in conspiracies for the prominent Masons, including several Founding Fathers, to face similar accusations. This is also why many believe the “eyeball pyramid” is the symbol of the modern Illuminati: the Eye of Providence was originally Christian in nature, to represent the all-seeing eye of god, but then was adopted by Freemasons in the 18th century. Thus, many also took it as something equally applicable to the Illuminati, and the symbolism was them using their connections among the highest authority to watch over society, propping themselves up as the “enlightened” and the “new religion” as they always have.

There are more wild claims, naturally. Such as how the modern chapter was truly founded by the Rothschilds, the family behind one of the oldest central banking systems in Europe, leaning into conspiracies about manipulation via money and business. Others say that they’ve orchestrated massive scandals in America, such as Watergate or the JFK assassination. Some other things that have been blamed on the Illuminati include chemtrails, subliminal occultic messaging in Disney movies, and the infiltration of extraterrestrial reptilian humanoids in high levels of society (that one never gets old, does it?).

Some conspiracy theorists take it a step further. “Signs and symbols rule the world, not word or law,” is a translated saying of Confucius, and even though there is no correlation between the Illuminati and historical China, when I say that these theorists take his words to heart, I mean it. The internet is flooded with photos of celebrities, politicians, and more, allegedly flashing the symbol of the Illuminati “pyramid”, or the Masonic diamond (also interpreted as a sign for "enlightenment", which fits the Illuminati’s identity). As you can see, some are questionable, while others seem very intentional.

In the spirit of Halloween, I would love to let your imagination run wild, with all the sordid implications of cabals and control…

However, for the sake of education, let's circle back to reality here. First, context always matters. For example, the many clips of DNI Tulsi Gabbard very clearly flashing the pyramid hand gesture is likely not a sign of allegiance to the Illuminati, but the Mauna Kea hand gesture from her native state, Hawaii, which represents the rights and allegiance with the Indigenous Hawaiian population. Likewise, the multiple pyramid flashes from celebrities, that were especially booming throughout the early 2010s, likely had more to do with the outbreak of intentional Illuminati and conspiracy-coded symbology in popular music. Used not as some wicked subliminal messaging, but to take a semi-controversial part of society and use it to make a statement, as most artists do. One of these guys isn’t even flashing the Eye or Providence, but clearly trying to mimic the tattoo on his arm, which is an alchemy symbol for “air”. Finally, too many of these look more like a common “resting” position for someone’s hands that many could slip into without thinking, especially given the common postures and tones here (the “let’s do business” body language).

All in all, the Illuminati may be among the most infamous secret societies, but it’s much harder to find the elaborate tales about stolen artifacts, suspicious deaths, and major scandals compared to others here. Likewise, even when they were at their strongest, their mission was always indirect in nature, latching onto pre-existing groups like the Freemasons, or hiding behind political powers. For both these reasons, I believe no society better embodies Sloth.

Conclusion…

Is any of this proof that bloodthirsty Satanic cabals, spanning from the corrupted billionaire to the kid that grew up on ONA, are running amok, orchestrating terror and disaster, and secretly running our society until they can establish a true New World Order that will be run by the alien lizard people?

No.

However, it’s hard to deny that sometimes, trouble can brew when you get powerful people together in a closed room, and not even the journalists are let in or allowed to spill the full truth. We know elaborate crime syndicates, lobbying measures, and failed coverups exist, and for the sake of stability, we pretend anything couldn’t possibly slip past our modern radar. Therefore, while I doubt any of these meetings involve even half of the famous conspiracies we rightfully laugh at today, it is still possible for other, more realistic forms of corruption to take place. The kind that won’t sound as captivating on page, but is much scarier due to the real and tangible implications of it all.

However, we just don’t know, and we can’t prove it. Behind those sealed doors, there could be anything. Odds say it’s something normal, normal enough to live and let live, but we can never be fully sure. It’s that secrecy, that element of the unknown, that has intrigued so many people, and inspired some to jump to the worst conclusions. What does it do for you?