Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.
After retrieving his rifle and reloading the pistol, he took a swig of moonshine from a flask and removed the arrows from his arm and leg. The arrows had sharp metal barbs on the tip so he had to push them all the through to remove them. He was about to leave when he looked at his old comrade Moon, they used to be great friends and he felt horrible things had turned out the way they did. The sky was getting dark and the rumble of thunder echoed in the distance, indicating a rain storm was approaching. He strung a cord in-between two trees and draped a tarp over the cord to make a tent.
He dragged her over to the tent and tied up her hands and feet. Then took a hand grenade off Krauser's body and tied a string to the pin. Vosper placed the explosive under the warrior's unconscious body before lighting a campfire and went to work treating his wounds. He placed his knife in the fire to heat it up for cauterization.
When Moon woke up her head was pounding and realized her hands and feet were tightly bound. With Vosper busy treating his wounds she began to wriggle her way out of the rope, while pretending to be unconscious. She heard a hissing sound and smelled burnt flesh and hair as Vosper pressed the red hot side of the knife into his wound to seal it shut.
She had almost freed her hands when Vosper sprang out of his seat and put the still glowing blade less than an inch away from her throat. She could feel the knife's heat, some of the fur on her neck burnt off.
"I'm sure you hate me right now. If you were to kill me... I wouldn't blame you if you did. But personally, I think enough blood has been spilled today..."
The warrior sat there quietly staring at him, she was clearly enraged. He slowly backed away and sat back down, then cooled the red hot knife off with water from his canteen. The warrior knew she could easily defeat the ranger in hand to hand combat, his rifle was out of reach and his pistol was still in its holster. Vosper realized she was looking for an opportunity to attack and picked up the string tied to the grenade.
"I'd hold still if I were you. Do you feel that lump you're sitting on? That's a live hand grenade. If you try to stand up without my permission I'll pull this here string and blast your ass up through your head."
Moon scoffed "I thought you said you wouldn't blame me if I tried to kill you..."
"I wouldn't. In reality I deserve to die. But I have unfinished business back home, and I can't finish that business if I'm dead."
"Well... You've captured me. That either means you want information or you have a death wish..." She said
Vosper cracked a half grin "To be honest I've wanted to die for a long time now."
She thought he was joking at first but then realized he was serious
"Why is that? Can you not live with the shame of your surrender?" The warrior said condescendingly
In response Vosper tugged the string on the grenade, not hard enough to pull out the pin but enough to get her attention.
"I don't think I heard you right... You wanna say that again? A little louder perhaps?"
"You'd enjoy killing me wouldn't you? Just like you enjoyed killing your partner over there." She said motioning to Krauser's body
Vosper then spit on her foot and looked away from her
"He was going to bleed to death. That was a mercy killing!"
"The man asked you to put a gun to his head and blow his brains out. And you agreed! You didn't even hesitate!"
Vosper put a little more tension on the string
"You humans are disgusting. You act high and mighty and yet you kill so nonchalantly... Your kind calls us 'savages' but you can't even realize your own species is far more 'savage' then we'll ever be."
"We don't do this voluntarily you know..." He said and showed her the big "X" shaped scar burned into the back of his hand.
The scar was so large and grizzly she was actually taken back a bit
"Who did that to you?"
" The Federation, they took a red hot branding iron and burnt this "X" into our hands to identify us... Then they took our wives, our husbands, our brothers and sisters. They took our parents and children. They took them and threw them in prison... If one of us steps out of line they kill their loved ones, and imprison the ranger so he'll have to live with the thought that he was responsible... They tell us that by following orders unconditionally, we'll get our families back."
The warrior's ears dropped, she actually felt sorry for the man who had betrayed her people and just tried to kill her.
"Who did they take from you?"
Vosper glared at her, but then realized she wasn't trying to be rude, she was actually being sincere.
" They took Serendipity."
Moon felt a needle in her heart. She knew Vosper's wife since as long as she could remember
"Can I ask you something?" She said
"Ask me what?"
"Do you honestly think the Federation will release your wife if you continue to fight for them? Or is there simply nothing else left to believe? Have you even seen her since the end of the war?"
Vosper felt his stomach drop. The warrior had a good point, he hadn't seen her or even received a letter from her in two years.
"How do you know she's still alive?" The warrior asked
After a few minutes of silence she said to him "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer."
Vosper leaned back on a tree and lit a cigarette. He had let go of the string on the grenade bit Moon didn't seem to care. He exhaled a cloud of smoke, then looked at her.
"I'll be honest with you. I'm pretty damn sure I wasn't supposed to survive this mission. Sending only two men into hostile territory and giving them very vague instructions? Sounds like I was supposed to be a martyr. The Federation probably needed an excuse to start another war. They're planning on establishing an outpost out here."
"This is the Harddeen land! It's in the truce!" She said
"Do you think the Federation cares about that?"
"Why are you telling me this? Isn't that secret information?"
"Yeah. It is. I've fought alongside you and your kind during the war, your people deserves a fighting chance. When I return to Okensburg I'll do my best to convince them not to invade. I suggest you try something similar with your people and maybe we can stop this war... But I think we both know what's going to happen in the end."
The warrior nodded
"I understand. If I take these ropes off are you still going to blow me up?"
Vosper thought about it for a minute then tossed her his knife.
"Go on."
"Really? Just like that? Do you know how quickly I could kill you if I get loose?"
"I know you Moon and you're not going to. Besides, you'd be granting me peace if you did."
Moon picked up the knife and slowly cut herself loose while keeping a close eye on Vosper. After she freed herself she quickly stood up. The knife was still in her hand, she looked at Vosper and then at the knife. Vosper took a drag of his cigarette and said
"If you're looking for a chance to avenge the warriors I killed, now would be the time."
Moon cocked her head to the side, the Ranger didn't seem to care that she could kill him at any moment. She then threw the knife at Vosper, the blade missed his head by an inch and was now stuck in the tree he was leaning against. Vosper didn't even blink, he simply pulled the blade out of the tree and slid it back into its sheath. She was impressed by his demeanor in the face of death.
"You really don't care if you live or die do you?" Moon said rubbing her wrists where the ropes had dug in
"Like I said, you'd be granting me peace."
"What about Serendipity? Is dying just an excuse for you to give up and not feel guilty? To free yourself maybe?"
"I'm already free. It's a different kind of freedom. I have the freedom to do horrible things to people and then tell myself 'I was just following orders.' That's true freedom."
"You're wrong. I remember Ouslanders and I especially remember you and what you people used to be like... I really do hope you get to see Serendipity again. If we meet again, I just hope it's not on the battlefield. And thanks for not killing me, the fact that you spared my life proves you still have some of the old you left."
Before Vosper could say anything Moon was gone, disappeared into the blackness of night. He ate some of his dried food and went to sleep.
He woke up early the next morning and set out. He thought about carrying Krauser's body back to the extraction point but the body was just too heavy. He reached the point just as the armored truck pulled up. The driver seemed surprised to see him
"Holy crap! You're alive! Where's the other guy you were with?"
"He's dead. You seem shocked to see me alive... What were you expecting?"
"Command said not to expect you to make it."
"Well I'm living still. Let's get out of here."
As they approached the town Vosper immediately noticed several more troop transport trucks had arrived since he left, obviously for the impending invasion. The soldiers in the trucks were part of the Federation's 1st Shock Army as well as the Federation Special Forces AKA Jaeger-Commandos. The Shock Army's name was no accident; the Shock Army soldiers were armed with a deadly and advanced new weapon: The Tesla Coil. They had long coils of copper wire strapped on their backs which could shoot out massive and incredibly lethal bolts of electricity. Shock troopers were always deployed when "shock and awe" tactics were needed. The Jaeger-Commandos were an Inferno Unit armed with flamethrowers and were developed specifically to hunt Rangers and Harddeens.
Viscera was waiting for him when he walked off the truck.
"Anything to report?"
Before Vosper could answer she began drilling him with questions
"Why are you wounded? Where is Krauser? It was those savages wasn't it?"
"That dumbass Krauser started a fight with them and got himself killed."
"Are you sure he started it?"
"Yes, the Natives don't attack unless provoked. He shot three of them and they filled his chest with arrows."
"Filthy savages! Tomorrow you'll be going back out there. This time with the rest of you Rangers and a company troopers."
"They killed him in self defense."
"It looks like they tried to kill you to. We have no choice but to invade."
"An invasion is not necessary. We don't need to start another war."
Viscera laughed at him
"Would you like to see Serendipity again? Then do as you're told!"
"Ma'am, with all due respect if I could just speak to my wife over a telephone or even send and receive letters from her, I'd be much more encouraged to compete my assignments"
"That would be a massive security risk. That simply won't be possible."
"One phone call. One letter. That is all that I ask. Besides I'm one of your best rangers, I think I've earned a small reward."
"One of my best rangers? Ha! What you are Vosper is a disgraced Bushman. A backwoods bush whacker who gets stoned every night and who drinks too much. I'll consider a visit after you've proved to me that you're loyal."
"Then how do I know that she's still alive?" It took Vosper all the courage he had to say it
Viscera leaned in close to Vosper's face and quietly said "Fall in line soldier."
Vosper's hand was moving towards his pistol holster. Viscera sneered at him
"Go ahead. It'll be the last thing you ever do."
Vosper moved his hand away.
"Get out of my sight..." She said
Vosper walked away and headed to the bar. Never before had he wanted to kill someone so much. He kicked When he walked in he was greeted by a few depressed looking Rangers. His old squad mates Huxter, Gunny, Foyer and Felicity were among them. Huxter was slightly shorter than Vosper and had a large unsightly scar across his face, Gunny was a grizzled old veteran ranger with a bald head and graying beard, Foyer was a very young rookie Bushman and Felicity was a young woman with long brown dreadlocks. The five of them used to be part of the Black-Iron Sharpshooters Battalion. Huxter looked up and smiled
"Hey Vos. When did you get transferred to Okensburg?"
"Last week. It's good to be back on the frontier you know? They say another year or two of service and I'll get to see Serendipity"
Vosper's entire body tensed up at "Maybe"
"Let's get some drinks eh?" Felicity said trying to lighten the mood. Vosper gave a half grin
"Can I get a bottle of swish and two glasses please?" She said to the bar tender
When the old bar man set the bottle in front of them Vosper frowned at the murky liquor.
"What the hell is swish?"
"Swish is a dirty, foul tasting liquor that was aged for a week in a steel drum. It might cause blindness if you drink too much."
They poured the brew into the glasses and knocked it back.
After several shots his anger had quelled. He walked outside for a smoke just in time to see a Boarality Federation officer get thrown out of the barby the bouncer. The officer was blackout drunk and was cursing up a storm. Vosper got an idea and walked over to the drunk officer. He looked up at the Ranger and with a slurred voice said
"The hell do you want?"
Vosper didn't answer, he just picked up an empty liquor bottle and smashed him in the head with it. He dragged the unconscious body into a nearby alley and took the keys out of the officer's pocket.
Vosper then walked across town to the Town Hall and waited until the custodian locked up and left for the night. Using the officer's keys, he unlocked the door and walked inside. He quietly climbed the stairs to Viscera's office and over to her desk. He opened the filling cabinet and flipped through the files until he found what he was looking for: Prison records. He thumbed through the files and stopped when he found a folder labeled "Serendipity Bucklee"
He could hear his own heart pounding in his chest as he opened the folder. After a few minutes of reading he put down the folder. A single tear rolled down his cheek. On the file were the words
"Name: Serendipity Bucklee
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Status: Deceased
Method of execution: Firing squad"
He felt sick. A massive mixture of rage and sadness came welling up from the pit of his soul. He took a copy of his wife's prison report and put the folder back. He then went digging through the files, almost all of the Bushmen's families had been ether executed or died from slave labor. Some of the reports said that a few prisoners had been used for target practice. Vosper took copies of several of the reports , including the reports for Huxter's sister, Gunny's wife, Foyer's brother and Felicity's mother and stuffed them into his pockets. Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?"
It was a security guard. Vosper launched himself at the guard and grabbed him by the head and throat. In a sharp twisting motion, he snapped the guard's neck. The breaking vertebrae and spinal cord made a disgusting popping sound; like someone breaking a wooden stick wrapped in a wet towel. The guard silently crumpled onto the floor. Vosper dragged the body down the stairs and out the back door. He pulled a manhole cover off the street threw the body into the sewer.
He took several deep breaths to compose himself and then headed for the ranger barracks. Most of the rangers were asleep when he loudly barged in and turned on the lights.
"Vosper what the hell man?! It's past midnight and we have to get up early tomorrow!" Gunny said half asleep
He ignored them and began handing out the prison reports to the rangers. When he gave Huxter the report on his sister he froze and turned pale, before he sat down on his bed and broke into tears. Foyer stared at his brother's report for a full two minutes before breaking down
"It's not true! It can't be true..." The young Foyer said in between sobs.
The other rangers faces turned into a mask of dread as they found out their families had been killed years ago.
"They've been using us. We're nothing but pawns to them..." Vosper said
"I say we go to Viscera's house right now and slit her throat while she sleeps!" Huxter said as he wiped the tears from his eyes
The other rangers began to chime in
"Let's show that bitch her guts!" Felicity roared
"Let's burn her alive!"
"No! Believe me I want the same thing. But her house is too well guarded. We'll never make it through, and even if we do we'll never survive fighting in the streets. We need to bring them out to where we have the advantage: The forest. We also need the reform the alliance we had with the Harddeen."
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Hey there! I'm here for a quick review on this lovely Review Day.
Overall, this is a pretty good start. I liked the interactions between your characters, especially between Vosper and Moon - you could tell there was a lot of history between them, and their conflict felt very intense.
The main thing I noticed that didn't really work for me was the way the perspectives kept switching. Thoughts were included from both the Vosper and Moon, and it honestly just wound up being rather confusing. I think you were trying to go for omniscient voice, but you made the common mistake of writing it as if it were third person limited and just switching every couple of paragraphs. This leads to a common symptom call "head hopping," and the problem is that it winds up being rather confusing for the readers. I especially noticed that sometimes I really wasn't sure who was speaking when the dialogue didn't have a dialogue tag. For more information about how to do omniscient correctly, I refer you this article.
This is where my other piece of advice comes in. There are several of these sorts of statements throughout this chapter, where the author just tells us how the character is feeling. This doesn't usually work very well. It doesn't pack the punch that it could. Instead of saying he felt horrible, show us in the way his gaze lingers and his mind drifts back to a happy memory of them telling jokes or something. That will have much more of an impact of the reader.
And that's all I've got! Again, this was a pretty good start. Good luck, and keep writing!
Hello I'm back,
I love the direction that the book is headed. I had mixed feelings about serendipity being alive because I despise Viscera. She should die 100 times but now that serendipity is gone we can see an alliance against the federation, maybe an interspecies relationship, and some good old fashioned revenge (my personal favorite). Now that Vos literally has nothing to live for I want to see how the loss of his wife affects his character.
Excellent story, I look forward to reading the next chapter
Thanks for the review. I personally think that this chapter was a little long and am probably going to get the next few to be a little shorter
Yes. It's a little long but it's hard to find the perfect reading length.