Give me something,
Give me anything,
Just a little pill, a little drink,
I’ll take it all,
An escape from the pain,
Don’t worry, I’ll be OK,
Just a little while, I promise,
only a little while.
Can’t I just please be released
From this endless torment
That the television screen sends me
Can’t I just please be set free
From the internet screens
That remind me of screams, of screams, of screams…
Please?
Just a little while, I promise,
It’ll be only for a little while.
Just let my eyes glaze over for a bit,
Please, please, just a bit, it won’t hurt much
It never hurts,
You don’t need it, don’t worry,
But I do. Just give it to me, please, please, please.
Don’t make me scream, scream, scream.
I just need to be gone for a little while…
Just a little while.
I promise.
*****************
I think I posted this in the right place (kinda new at the whole poet thing)... did I? So sorry if I didn't... *goes and hides*
Ingenius for a political poem. Some of the repetition proved virtuouso, but some repetition terribly fell through the cracks. The poem I liked--your beliefs I do not. Nevertheless, this was an excellent political poem. My only suggestion is to maybe cut a miniscule fraction of the repetition, which I found to be annoying, for some reason.
ohh, i like this one. i love the flow in it, and repitition of it. australia recently had its election too, and being 16, it's annoying to think what is being allocated our "leader"
Thanks Nate.
Mostly this is just me being me. I am defined as liberal... mostly though it was my frustration that, at sixteen, I couldn't do anything anyway. Couldn't vote, can't move, can't organize anything... because I'm a friggen piece of property until two years from now. And it blew that I had adults that had less an IQ then me voting for a guy I DID NOT want...
So, that's what it was about... kinda...
EDIT: And on a side note, I didn't take any drugs or alcohol around then, even though I desperatley wanted to. I do admit to it once in a while, but if I have to use it to escape, I've crossed a line I don't want to cross. So I didn't... in case you wondered.
I really liked it; the repitition of certain words was done well and you have a nice flow going throughout. I also like how it can be adopted to either the conservative or liberal paradigm. I mean, there have been screams from both sides since the election (one being a mournful sometimes "The south blows so I'm moving to Canada!" scream, the other being a joyous sometimes "Lets go for the jugular now!" scream).
Overall, done very well I thought. I got no real criticism.
120,202 Literary Works • 649,060 Reviews
Points: 890
Reviews: 915
Donate