Writing: My Release.

by Telina

Published January 26, 2009

In Poetry

Writing: My Release.
Release my suppressed imagination,
Flow out in a delicate instigation.
Take form my emotion,
Let loose this commotion.
Release my anger,
Why not be a wrangler?
Rejoice in my ecstasy,
Float away in this creative sea.
Set sorrow at bay,
Just a second while a jot this away.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
georgia30
Review
georgia30 wrote a review Review · Mar 11, 2009

Wow.
This is really good. Now, i dont write poetry so i can't really offer any advice or anything but i wll give a personal opinion.
I really enjoyed it because i felt like i could relate. And that is the most important thing when writing anything, be it a story or a poem.
Well done and keep it up!! :D

User avatar
Rosendorn
Review
Rosendorn wrote a review Review · Jan 26, 2009

Ohh, I liked this! Pretty true if you ask me.

Nit picks:


Flow out in a delicate instigation.


"Instigation" feels out of place here. All the other lines and words have a nice flow to them, but this one stops it.

Why not be a wrangler?


Pretty much the same note as above, only this time it's the entire line. With the more serious nature of the poem, this line feels out of place.

Float away in this creative sea.
Set sorrow at bay,
Just a second while a jot this away.


The second line's idea doesn't feel finished. I like the first and third lines, but the second really feels like it's just a line for the last one to rhyme to.

Flow- You've managed to rhyme every line, but in some cases (the ones I mentioned) I find it forced. The idea is good though, just play around with some of the words so we're not jolted out of the poem by a strange line.

Overall- I really liked the concept, and I find it really rings true to me. The imagery is really good, but it's sparse enough that we can fill in our own idea. Keep it up!

If you have any questions, send me a PM.

~Rosey



I'm so confused I've Turned To erratic Capitalisation?
— JustMeBeingMe