Waiting here silently as I
Always do. Nothing ever
Touches me anymore. The
Ever going pain just
Rolls through my whole body again.
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140,658 Literary Works • 673,583 Reviews
Cassie here with a review,
Yet so short, this poem was great! It spoke out very well to me and I am sure it did to other readers too. How could it not?
Dont ever give up no matter how hard times are. No ones deserves pain but it is part of living.
Thats why we have people to get us through it.
Like me
If you ever need anything pm me.
Happy writing as always!
WOOOOWW!! Just wow.. what a wonderful poetry!
I just love it and it's most probably one of the best poems that i have read here in YWS. It's simple, short but it's differently and very creatively written and structured. I love the lines and the words you used here. They leave a calm feeling to the reader.
But the main theme of the poem is somewhat unclear to me. I do get the emptiness or the loneliness of the poet. Still, there is a bit of lacking in there. Just a bit...but, I think, the poem can turn out good without much of saying, too. Anyways, it was a good job done.
well, the usage of the two adverbs doesn't sound too good to me. I think you can keep only one of them. But it's your choice, love.
That's all from me. I really loved reading your poem. If there was a system so that I could re-like the same writing, I would just keep on clicking on the same button!!
TahaT11n,
Thank you for your suggestions! I see know that those adverbs are god awful together. And thank you for your praise! I'm literally addicted to alphabet poems XD I appreciate your review!
TeenageSupergirl
You're welcome and nice av.
Hi this is Spartan 118 coming at you with a review.
I love how you use the letters in water to start every line it's something different on here. It feels like to me that you are a loner but not by your own choice. I love this work it's something I have dealt with personally as a loner but I have grown to accept that I'm a loner. The title is very good and gives a great description of the work itself. It also feels like you are in dire need of human contact but that might be me reading to deeply into it. I think there are a few mistakes but it's nothing that I would worry about not would I have tried to make but I'm not an English or grammar Nazi so you're ok. I can't help but read this short poem over and over again cause it's relatable and easy going. Your writing could use some work tho but that is for you to decide.
I would love to see more of your work on the future.
This is Spartan 118 coming at you live from unsc head quarters.
Spartan118,
You pretty much hit it on the head XD Thanks for you for your suggestions
you're welcome and hey come and ask me if you wanna co author a short story or something wanting to try that soon
I would love to! I think it would be great
Cool message me and we can collaborate on one
Hey! This is pretty good for a first attempt, though it is a bit on the short side. I feel like it would work better as "Ever lasting" rather than "Ever going." It just works better, ya know? Anyways, you totally could've pulled off the water theme if you made at least one reference to it in the poem itself. For example, you could replace the last line with "Rolls through my body in waves." The slight allusion to the ocean ties everything a bit tighter together.
Hello there! Gymnast2801 here with a review!
This poem is very cool and unique! I like it! I also love the factor that you spelled out WATER! Because this was so short, I couldn't really find anything to fix but I did feel that this poem was unfinished, which again, is because it is so short. More needs to be explained because I feel that these are just words put together to form something that has no meaning other than the fact that it's for water.
Otherwise, I got nothing else to complain about!
Great job and keep on writing!