N/A

by Teardrop_on_the_fire
  • January 7, 2009
  • Short Story
  • Fantasy

N/A

Comments & reviews · 3
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Teardrop_on_the_fire
Comment
Teardrop_on_the_fire commented · Wed Jan 07, 2009 7:13 pm

Quibbons Quill wrote:Firstly, if Velton is a warewolf then take that first paragraph out, put it into the story in a different way, what she did on a cancelled period or something, also work dubbly hard to get away from the HP thing as Lupin,a nice prof was also a warewolf, if he's not then good misdirection
Thats all really liked the last line and by the looks of it the next section will liven up the story


Lol, he's not werewolf. :P I promise

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Quibbons Quill
Review
Quibbons Quill wrote a review · Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:45 am

Firstly, if Velton is a warewolf then take that first paragraph out, put it into the story in a different way, what she did on a cancelled period or something, also work dubbly hard to get away from the HP thing as Lupin,a nice prof was also a warewolf, if he's not then good misdirection
Thats all really liked the last line and by the looks of it the next section will liven up the story



I want to understand you, I study your obscure language.
— Alexander Pushkin