[ So, this is my new novel, this chapter is really not so great, oh well, I tried. : D Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it. P.S. It's really short, I know, I might extend it or just have one of those novels with really short chapters ; D]
Cruz clutched the bouquet of white carnations in his hand. The flowers hung limply at his side, his other hand clenched into a fist. Cruz's lip trembled, and he closed his eyes as a tear dripped down his face.
"I love you, da," Cruz breathed as he choked on his tears. He let go of the bouquet and let the flowers fall to the foot of the gravestone.
"Goodbye." Cruz took one more look at the gravestone; a smooth slab of stone with his father's name, Peter Jordan, carved on the top. Beneath his name read "1980- 2030" Only fifty years old? It wasn't fair in Cruz's mind.
He turned on his heel and found his way back to the cobblestone pathway that led him out of the graveyard. Cruz pulled the black Corvette's passenger door open and stepped slowly inside the car.
Cruz didn't care to glance at the young lady sitting in the driver's seat beside him. He rested his head in his hands. His sister, Elinor, put her hand on her shoulder in attempt to comfort her eighteen year old brother beside her. Unfortunately, she failed lifting his spirits.
"We all miss da," Elinor, his older, twenty three year old sister said. Elinor stared out the front window, as she fumbled in her purse for her car keys.
Cruz glanced up at her, his eyes squinted, and red from tears. The surfing crash, unexpected to Cruz and Elinor. They were on their own now, Elinor watching Cruz at their home. Alone. Cruz remembered the one time, when he was fourteen, his father had went away on a business trip. Only supposed to be gone for a month, Peter had been gone for almost a year. They had thought they had lost him, and he would never come home, but soon he arrived back and they rejoiced.
* * *
"I'm okay," Cruz spit out, taking a deep breath. His sister smiled in the driver's seat at him, a wave of sympathy swept over her. Cruz was the closest of the family to his father. Unlike Elinor, who had been close to her mother. But their mother died in a car crash when Elinor was only eleven.
Elinor slipped the keys in, and turned them. The engine purred to life and she gently, and slowly, pressed her foot on the gas petal. The car sped off down the road towards home.
Cruz watched the little stiff black bird that's beady red eyes watched them as they drove away.
* * *
Elinor pushed open the tall door to their enormous home. Quite a big house for a small family that got smaller quickly. Their footsteps echoed across the house as Cruz skipped up the spiral staircase that wrapped above the living room ceiling. He walked down the hall upstairs. Past Elinor's room, past the bathroom, past the guest room, finally, his room. The last room in the hall.
Cruz opened the door, and stepped inside his room. The ceiling slanted over his bed, a walk in closet beside his bed side table, and a large writing desk off to the side. He flicked on the lamp and laid down on his soft bed. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, as tears played follow the leader down his cheeks.
Cruz needed something to take his mind off his close father's unfortunate death, so he pulled out the Bible from his bed side table, and flipped it open to around the middle, where he had left off. Though reading took his mind somewhat from the subject of death, a miserable sadness dwelled in his heart.
The door to his bedroom swung open, and Elinor stepped inside his room. Her dish water blond hair had been pulled back into a bun, her contacts had been taken out and her square glasses sat on her nose. Her white bathrobe swayed away from her body, revealing her silk pajamas as she stepped silently to Cruz's side.
She sat down beside him, her brown eyes shining,"Are you sure you're alright?"
Cruz's jaw tightened, and he closed the Bible and placed it back on the table. He looked at his sister gloomily, and shook his head as he pulled the covers over his head.
"Cruz, don't be immature. I'm sad too, there's no reason to hide it."
Cruz threw the blankets off his head, revealing his tear-stained eyes and his miserable expression. Elinor put her arm around her brother's shoulder and she began to cry too. They laid there for the whole night, crying their sorrows, unaware of the black bird with the beady red eyes watching them from outside the window.
End of chapter
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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well, I think this story had a rather solid start here. You've done a pretty good job of starting on this very emotional and impactful moment here and although we don't know these characters at all, you can feel a bit of empathy and that makes for a good start here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm, this is a particularly powerful start, especially when it comes to the emotion involved here. To see someone that's suffering from what appears to be the loss of a very close family member as this story gets underway creates a very interesting effect here to start things off on.
The older and the twenty three year old combined make for a bit of an awkward sentence there. I think having only one of those would work out best for that. Otherwise, this is a nice little introduction to the sort of situation this person is in here.
Okay, a bit of an interesting sort of drive off scene there...I have a feeling we almost have a couple of somewhat symbolic bits hidden in there among just the general description for the scene. At any rate it caps off a pretty decent start to this piece here.
And the scene is changing to something a bit more relaxing I see. I suppose this story is going to start with a bit of reflection on this whole death that was just mentioned, this is certainly leaning fairly heavily in that general direction and that's a good way to start off a story.
Okay...well, this is going to continue a bit I see. Well we're so far learning some nice things on the personality of these two peeps as well, so all in all, this is gong along rather well so far and I really like seeing that at the start of a story.
Well, this caps off a rather saddening start to things here...and I think you really manage to do a pretty good job with this here. Its a great point to end things on here at any rate.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, I think this is quite a solid start that you've got here. I can certainly see myself reading more of this story here. Anyway that's all I've gotta say here
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Okay! Thanks a bunches for the review!!
Aww...that's sad. The story I mean, not your writing! You are an awesome writer. You're good with descriptions, and I was able to imagine the scene clearly. I would say work on the emotion a little more. You're close, but it needs a little work. The readers should be feeling sad along with your characters. Otherwise, great job!