It was cold out and not a deathly living soul to be found on the streets.
Quietness crept up upon her like a spider upon its prey. The smell of death lurked everywhere except on the night that was tonight. A small voice raised above the clouds not new but already known. The mother again wept in her hands and tried wiped the memory of him from her mind. The walls seemed to speak in a hushed tone trying to make her remember of her sons death.
"Shut up! Why make me remember? Why put me in more agony? Have you no shame or mercy on the broken hearted?" She managed to tell the walls in her lowly toned voice. The walls did not listen they still taunt her, they still chanted the lullaby of the dead." So is this how it ends? Murder! No I will not let you kill me once more. I have already died watching my son scream in pain." The walls chanted on.'Hush and sleep for life is short know that you must die when you listen to the deads deathly lullaby' the walls chant began to grow and repeated over and over.
The soft voice grew but still was hushed as if it were geting closer. Her faint scream lessened when she saw his small face. Was it? Could it be? Her son has risen from the dead. It couldn't be but yet it was. He to was chanting 'Hush and sleep for life is short know that you must die when you listen to the deads deathly lullaby'.
" No not you to what has happened to my littel boy. Come now my child stop this foolishness. Come give your mama a hug." Then with that he was gone.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
You did have some spelling mistakes, almost all of them including "to". I think you meant "too". It was short - so it can't be considered a chapter. However, I was on edge the entire time I read it. The death lullby was great. I loved the way it crept up. The descriptions were rather good too, I got to glimpse the picture of it. However, I didn't understand she was in a room at first - not until you said so - so maybe you should say so. I thought she was on the street or something. That and the length were the only things I found wrong. Oh, that and plotline. I have no idea what you're palnning - see, in teh first chapter, the mother seemed like a side character. You should decide who your main character is. Please pm me again when there's more! Thanks. Ofir