Another Night At The ER

Funny, but the only thing is... How can he die if he doesn't exist?

Note: hastily typed on phone. Apologies if there are any errors.

Introduction:

Hey there, Tash722. Normally I choose to comment on the linguistic choices of a piece (phrasing, capitalization, etc.), but here I really want to talk about the content. Because of that, the review will be abnornally brief. I apologize.

The thing that immediately hit me when I opened this was its categorization. The title "Schizophrenia" is bold, and filing this under "Humor" is, at the very least, disrespectful to those who are affected by the condition.

Now, obviously I'm not you. I have no way whatsoever of knowing what your personal circumstances are. But I want you, and everyone else dealing with such a meaningful subject, to pay attention to even the smallest decision.

Content:

From the beginning, this poem establishes a "playful" tone (note the repetition of 'doctor'). The fact that the dialogue is simply labeled with the characters' names makes the piece sound, at first, like a little anecdote of sorts. The rest of the poem carries on on this note consistently.The reader can tell that this already whimsical scene is building up to a joke or pun.

However, the final verse is not at all representative of that idea. It expresses the joking attitude that should not at all be associated with such a life-changing condition, but--unfortunately--is. Not only that, but it is a misrepresentation of what Schizophrenia is

Schizophrenia isn't only characterized by delusions, but also by a consistent pattern of disorganized thinking, antisocial behavior, and lack of motivation. Schizophrenic patients are often stigmatized all their lives, on average live 25 years shorter than a neurotypical, and because of this, have a significantly increased suicide rate.

I appreciate the idea, but I'm desperately asking you to think about the consequences of you words and to research further before writing about something that affects so many people's lives... dramatically, and often not for the better.

Keep writing,
IronSpark

Wow. Well, this is different. First, I didn't know what Schizophrenia was, it was after I read it I looked it up. It sure is different, I like the way it's written with only the one-on-one conversation going on, I think it makes the story more realistic.

He won't even survive the hour, I don't know if Schizophrenia happens in bursts of time, but that makes me think it is, and, is it? I'm not sure.

I love the last four lines from the Exhausted ER Doctor.

This is short, so I don't have much else to say about it, but this is probably one of my favorite short pieces now!