Bump, bump, bump! Haha..I'm reviving old boards, but I want to crit so here you go. Your writing style has changed so much but I guess age does that. 
This is really short - hard to review, but I noticed some things you may want to change.
Talking_Pinata wrote:Penetrated only by twinkling stars, the night reached its peak and a small village slept peacefully onwards. From a particular small and insignificant house there came a short gasp and then the peaceful breathing of sleep continued as Nova’s repetitive dreams continued.
You should change the last "continued" to a synonym - it's a bit repetitive having two words together so closely.
She was underwater. No, she could breathe so she mustn’t be, although it did appear and feel like she was.
Take out "although it did appear and feel like she was" it's repeating the first sentence because she made the statement (or abstract thought) that she was underwater. We know that she feels that way so the last clause isn't needed.
She swam on and on through the depths, searching around. Then she was above the water, but all of her movements were just as difficult and fluid. The crowd of people surrounded her and awaited her decision.
Fluid and difficult kind of contradict each other fluid means moving like water with ease and without difficulty or rigidness. You might want to change it to it's antonym "mechanical".
Their lives depended on it just as hers did, although she couldn’t make a decision if she didn’t know the choices, but she must. Then there he was, the boy about the same age as her-15- who stuck out like a sore thumb in the crowd. He seemed less tense than all the people around her; he instead seemed to be observing her, trying to see what she was thinking. She would catch him this time, she would.
You didn't remember Mrs. W's rule of thumb that you always use the word for a number in writing!? It should be fifteen. xD Sorry I had to bring that up. She drilled it into her first period (my class).
She began running towards him, to stop him from running away like he always did. Her movements were difficult and slow; he realized her intent and looked at her with indecipherable confusion. She was getting closer now; she held out her hand to grab on to his hand and stop him from leaving, but he began backing away with puzzlement shining in his eyes. His movements were quick; She tried screaming out “Stop!” but her voice failed her. She tried again, mentally pleading her voice to project her cry and she awoke weakly uttering, “Stop”.
I liked this! It's so different of what you used to write and very interesting. Just a few common errors in there...but nothing critical. This is really interesting and it had a nice hook to it. So review done!
[/quote]
Points: 890
Reviews: 99
Donate