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Hey there, race opponent~
I hope to see you out here on review day gettin' some reviews racked up against me, and get working toward your new NEW star!

So, I first have to pull out this couplet:

I am the boy the muse of music made,

And I die but when the musics fade.

Because it's fantastic. The idea is crisp and clean, and the only problems are the non-matching meter and the awkwardness of the phrasing in the last line: "but when"?? Both can probably be fixed at the same time. First, notice the meter of the first line.

o O o O o O o Oo O. Perfect iambic pentameter. But the second:

o o O o O o O o O. Not enough feet! Maybe something like "I die right when the notes of music fade". ?? You've got to add a note and probably take out the "and" from the beginning of the line.

Now, as for the rest of the stanzas, I wonder if you could write them in a way that it's clear even before we hit the awesome last stanza that these instruments are necessary for the life of this boy. You talk, for example, about the melodion completely detached from any idea of the boy. But he dies when it ends? I want to see that connection.

Also, in the first stanza, I think you could avoid the sappy phrase "touching my soul", and show us the emotion of that instead of taking the easy way out with too-used words. Show us images of how the music touches this boy's soul, how he can't live without it. Showed stretched fingers, toes reaching, back arching, eyes wide -- how the music infects every part of him.

It should be especially easy with the drums, as just a mention of drums gets the reader thinking about the rhythm and how it can echo through your body when you hear it. You can do it!

Hope these suggestions are helpful to you~
PM me or reply to this review if you have any questions or comments.
Good luck and keep writing!

Hannah