Tanya stole my car

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy...this was an intriguing read here. I think you've created a neat little first chapter here. The title there looks like it needs a bit of help, but otherwise this is looking fairly solid as far as a start is concerned, there is enough stuff going on to pull you in as a reader.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Tanya stole my car keys once again. I thought I was going to kill her. She knew I was suppose to drive Lindsey home and that Tanya was suppose to have a ride from one of her other little friends. But then again little sister’s live to ruin their siblings’ lives. Lindsey had to ride the bus when she explicitly told me she hated it. I started to feel like crap when Trevor came up to me.

“Where’s the car, Tanta?” he asked me. I shrugged and he let out a gruff laugh that told me what he was thinking. “I’ll start the car,” he said.

I nodded. That was the thing Trevor and I had where we kind of knew what was up. I was best friends with Trevor for a while and we knew each other well enough to just stop asking. He ran across the over congested parking lot to his small, beaten up car. He was just about to get in it when a girl-I liked to call her Goddess of Death and Lunatics, G-O-D-A-L for short- stomped up to him. I could hear her voice from where I was standing. She was basically screeching at him. Trevor gave me a nervous glance so I decided to step over there.

G was still screeching when I got up, “-You told me, I mean Nancy that you loved her! How can you just say it was a mistake! She told me to tell you she loved you!”

“What the hell are you talking about, freak?” Trevor snapped back. “Nancy died years ago and she didn’t even like you! How would you have a message from her?” he screamed red faced. Not the Nancy subject, anything but the Nancy subject.

“Let’s just say I know her better than you think,” she snapped back. I noticed her voice was a lot higher than usual or at least from the last time I heard it which was weeks ago. There was something off about her that was odder than her regular self. She was acting like Nancy.

“Well you can just-” Trevor started but never finished.

“Crap!” G shrieked. Her knees buckled and her face was scrunched in pain. She opened her eyes and I looked at them in awe. I knew G wore contacts but the pure black irises that I saw weren’t fake. In a blink of an eye her black irises turned a blinding white. She closed her eyes and fell back on to the pavement. I saw a couple of her friends look over and one of the guys rushed over.

“Jade!” he shouted with his gay lisp. “Who did this to you?” he whispered under his breath.

“I didn’t,” I said. The guy looked up and sneered.

“I wasn’t-never mind, can you guys help me get her to the nurses office?” he asked. Trevor huffed and looked up at the sky.

“Sure,” I told the guy. He smiled widely.

“Okay, help me get her up,” he demanded.

We carried G all the way into the office. As soon as the secretaries saw us they motioned towards the nurse’s office. We saw the nurse at her small desk. “Hello?” she asked. But when she looked to see who it was she sighed, “How did it happen this time?” I halted. This time? There has been more times where she randomly faints?

“I don’t know, ask him,” G’s friend motioned to me. The nurse’s gaze fell on me. I had no idea what to say so I just shrugged. She shook her head and left to get some ice.

“Okay, what the hell just happened to her?” I asked the guy. He turned to me.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean the weird thing with her eyes and the whole thing about Nancy,” I hissed. He gaped at me.

“You saw that?” he asked.

“Yeah, and it was freaky! What is this chick into, Wicca or something?” he almost laughed at that.

“I guess you’ll have to ask Jade when she gets up. She was scared this was going to happen one day,” and with that last comment he left me with the Goddess of Death and Lunatics. I was debating if I should leave or stay and wait till she wakes up. If I left than I wouldn’t have another opportunity to ask her what just happened, but if I stayed than I might be sucked into this weird life of hers. So I decided to leave. But as I was going through the door I saw her toss and turn.

Suddenly her eyes flew open and she mumbled, “Not again.”

Tanta is Beck's last name. Beck Tanta. Confusing I know.

I really liked this, it was awesome. At the top instead of Tanya, it says Tanta though. Just thought I'd let you know. Other then it was great.

i honestly think that ur story was great i absolutely loved it hooked me and thats all i have to say.