"Birthday Make-over" a scene from SMILE

I can't believe I'm doing this. I have school tomorrow! I can't stay up all night reviewing your work!

*sigh* here goes...

How am I supposed to review something based on a book? You didn't even write most of this. Grammar errors, I guess...

"And rainbow looms. Lot of 'em"

*Lots of 'em."

"There other girls burst out laughing."

*The other girls

So much for detailed. Ok, if I'm going to review all your pieces, my reviews won't be perfect. But they are reviews. How about, I'll give you a really really good review if it's still in the Green Room. K?

The Story was fantastic. But I didn't actually understand the concept at the beginning. Then I found out that the girls were lying. And don't you tHink your story is a bit too girlish. Maybe I feel that because I am a boy. But the story was nice. Could have been better and longer. And I need more points so please donate some points. Keep writing stories but try to write it in the website. Thanks.

Hello!
Huge shot in the dark here, do you like screenplays?
Anyway, I liked your script. It's pretty short, so there's not too much to review on, but I'll do as much as I can.
I saw two grammatical errors. First, Girl #4 said "Lot of 'em." It should be "Lots of 'em."
Second, you said "There other girls burst out laughing." This should say, "The other girls burst out laughing."
Also, I understand that the other girls were doing this to Raina to mock her, but you could have made this a little more clear. Perhaps the girls could've whispered to each other at some point, saying what they were planning to do.
This is really nitpicking, but Girl #1 says, "Great. And how short are your shortest shorts? And you need to start conditioning those 'bangs' of yours."
Using and twice like that just sounds awkward. Next time, try substituting also instead.
That's really all I have. Hope this helped!

-Dominusatramentum