Piano,
haunting, broken
playing,reading, loving
Fingers stroke the keys
Freedom
Clarinet,
Intricate, difficult
sighing, blowing, listening
A rage to master,
Obsession
War
Battle, crusade
fighting, stabbing, killing
bitter end to life
Needless
I'm not very good at these. (sorry)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I'm not very good at cinquains either, probably because I haven't written one since I was about nine.
This suggestion goes for all forms of poetry, not just your cinquains: Present something in a new way. These cinquains were finely structured and all, but the words chosen to describe them haven't really made me think. This is especially true for the last one, War. It's very...predictable. Try to use less common words or phrases; present your subject in a way the reader wouldn't have thought about it before. The closest you got to this was the second line of "Piano" with "haunting, broken" but the rest of the poem doesn't seem to follow up on that.
Also, make up your mind on the capitalization! Each poem has capitalization in different places.
And punctuation, much? I don't really know if there are punctuation guidelines for cinquains, but generally, having a bunch of commas with no periods or anything will drive some people crazy. Claudette comes to mind (love ya, Clau). Remember that punctuation can completely change the meaning of a sentence if you put it in the right way. Be original and think about how you want it to be read.
Good luck!
-Colleen