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The Tests: Chapter 1

by Swainpuff77


(Quick notes before I begin: 1) I will change the POV from chapter to chapter. 2) Some chapters will be really short and boring while others will be long and interesting.) 

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!!

Kennedy walked into school today, her heart pounding. Those tests were today. She immediately looked for her friends, and found Grace first. 

“All we have to do is get two periods over, math and LA, then we take the tests.” Grace said to Kennedy. 

“Yeah.” Kennedy sighed. “Why can’t we study for them? Don’t tell anyone, but I did anyway.” She asked Grace. 

“I also studied, but I have no clue.” Grace confessed. Grace saw Betsy walking to her locker and waved her over. 

“What’s up?” She said to Betsy.

“The ceiling. Anyway, I’m so worried! I’m so going to fail all three tests. It’s probably going to be the easiest questions I miss, and the hard ones!” Betsy complained nervously.

“You’ll do fine.” Kennedy said reassuringly. 

“We’ll all do fine. Now let’s get to first period.” Grace agreed, and they all walked into class.

Betsy had to go back into the hallway so she could put her backpack in her locker. Then she walked inti the classroom.

First went by very quickly, and LA went quicker, a little bit to Kennedy’s relief. She really didn’t like Ms. Pattie, the language arts teacher.

Now, they would all be taking tests. The ones they weren’t supposed to study for. The ones that if you miss two questions, you fail. The ones that depend if you get to keep your memory; your life.

Kennedy, Grace, Betsy, Kate, and Addie all walked into their third period class, holding hands. Kate’s hand was shaking, and Betsy was breathing heavily. Addie was shaking her head in sadness, but Grace and Kennedy kept calm.

“Okay everybody! Did you guys study?” Mrs. Standerry said menacingly once everybody was in the classroom. Then she laughed. “You shouldn’t have.” All the students looked at one another uncertainly.

A few sighed, a few cried, and a few fake died. But in the end, all the tests were handed out, and every kid had to take the test.

Sweat dripped down Kennedy’s forehead as she thought hard on the tests. She tried not to get it on the paper. Kennedy saw Grace raise her hand, indicating that she needed help. Instead of coming over to help Grace, Mrs. Standerry hissed at Grace. She told her, and the rest of the class, that they couldn’t get any help. Though she told them to raise their hand when they are done. Then they would get the next test.

Clearly some students didn’t realize what would happen if they failed the test and rushed through it. Gabe was done almost immediately after the test was handed out, and Cassidy followed right behind him. Kennedy rolled her eyes at them then focused back on her test.

‘This is easier than I thought!’ She concluded when she finished the first test. Almost everyone was onto the second test, except Grace, Betsy, and Addie. This kid Kamp just finished, too. Kennedy got her new test, and her eyes immediately widened. This was much harder than the last test! It was probably the specific knowledge test, and the last one was general knowledge. The next one will be manners. She remembered. Then Kennedy thought back to her studying. She studied for this! Directly after having this breakthrough, she quickly finished this test, and then the manners test.

Kennedy struggled with the manners test. It said to be honest when she got the paper on the first page, but then she knew she would fail! She decided she’d have to lie, and hope nobody would find out.

Soon enough everyone was done. In all classes, too. Principal Rasteque called from the speaker. “We will now be holding a convocation down in the convocation room and people, or C.R.A.P. Please, don’t bring anything with you, and you may head down there now. Stay with your class.” He said.

Betsy and Grace walked over to Kennedy, and she looked at Betsy with confusion. “I thought you had a different third period?” She asked. 

“I got switched over here. Too many people in my third period class that are cheaters, I guess.” She replied.

“Okay.” Kennedy shrugged, and the class started leaving to go the the convocation room and people, though most people call it the C.R.A.P. or the convocation center.

Once all the seventh grade classes were there, Principal Rasteque introduced John and Sakira. Sakira stepped up to the microphone.

“Hello everybody. I am the head of the New Order, and this is my close assistant, John. Think of me as the Principal of the New Order and John my Vice Principal, if that’s easier for you. Anyway, I will be calling up those people who have passed all three tests. It will be in alphabetical order. First up is Rafael Cerfluffles, then Addie Cucumber, Liam Fanson, Kate Herbertard, Kamp Milter, Kennedy Scott and Grace Vanilla. Those seven students need to please come to the stage. If I didn’t call your name, you didn’t pass.” Sakira said, very politely. Her voice reminded Kennedy of her mother’s, very soft and sweet, as she walked up to the stage.

Kennedy looked back at Betsy with sadness in her eyes, and Betsy looked back with frustration and jealousy. Betsy looked away angrily. 

Kennedy was almost offended and mad at her bestie, but then fear overtook her as a terrifying realization hit her.

Her best friend would become brainwashed, along with almost the entire seventh grade.


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143 Reviews


Points: 2123
Reviews: 143

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Thu Dec 05, 2019 1:23 am
Junel wrote a review...



Hey there! An interesting story you have here, and I'm glad not to live in it.

First my nitpicks and suggestions:

into school today

'today' is not necessary and can be deleted
, and found Grace first.

something like ', finding Grace first' will flow better
said to Kennedy.

there's no need to specify who she's speaking to. you do this a couple times later too and the same applies.
The ceiling.

Nothing wrong here just had to mention it because its something I would say and it annoys my friends... On that note actually it might add to the story if you add something about eyes rolling in response here.
said reassuringly

this can just be combined to 'reassured'
walked inti

typo
that depend if you get

I think 'determines' would make more sense here
hand was shaking

singular hand? I think it should be both
easier for you. Anyway, I will be

I don't think such an authority figure would say 'anyway' so just delete that
would become brainwashed

should be 'be' not 'become'
Additional notes:
1. In general your tense switched a couple places, a read through will probably reveal these spots.
2. Additionally, maybe I missed something, but how did the tests get graded so fast? Maybe ass specification so its clearer. (like do they take them on computers, or are they scantrons etc.).
3. Adding a more specific number of students when describing the class might help. Here because you don't mention anything it could mean its only 7/50 people passed or 7/200. That does influence how the reader sees this society.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this and hope to see more. I hope that you find my review helpful to improve your work.

Sláinte -Junel




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68 Reviews


Points: 3417
Reviews: 68

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Tue Dec 03, 2019 9:41 pm
WinnyWriter wrote a review...



Whoa, this is intense! I think I like it, though. It just sounds like it could go somewhere exciting.

Your spelling and punctuation have a few basic errors, but I won't take time to point them out individually. Just keep an eye out for those things that get overlooked easily. As far as your characters, I haven't seen much distinction between them other than their names so far. I'm sure we will see more when more chapters are posted, but I'd just mention to make sure you give them distinctive personality qualities, otherwise the whole story can be a little bland and possibly even confusing.

It's kind of cool that you've given us half-revealed details. The reader can see part of what is going on, but the whole story isn't obvious yet. It would be helpful to give some background at some point. It's an odd situation to just drop us into, if you know what I mean.

Well, this is cool so far. Keep up the good work!




Swainpuff77 says...


Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it! I will definitely work on giving the characters more traits to set them apart from each other, and background probably would be helpful!




Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.
— Madeleine L'Engle, Author