Young Writers Society

Just Another Prime Minister...

‘Hey dudes, I’ve just been told that I’m, like, now the Prime Minister. That’s pretty gnarly.

So yeah… wait… just let me get my thoughts together… yeah, you like… you all have really good taste.

Especially the birds. I love you all… well, not all of you. Some of you. The really good looking ones. With boobies.

Big ones.

Anyway… urgh… jeez, I shouldn’t have drunk so much yesterday… I've been up spewing chunks all night...

… What?

… What do you mean I’m on national t.v.? Me? I’m just some random cat; I shouldn’t be on t.v.!

Oh… yeah yeah… Prime Minister and all that. Hey, are they reporters over there? Cool!

Hey, reporter dudes – I like your mum! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

All right girlies, I’m pulling in Prime Minister money and power, and I have every intention of being a womaniser. Come and get some!

But you must have boobies.

Big ones.

Anyway… what? Hey, wow, I’m like… hallucinating. There’s like, this red dot where my heart is…

AAAARGH!

Dude! Why did you jump into me!?!

… dude..?

… dude, are you okay..?

… dude, you seem to be leaking red stuff…

Huh? Hey… the red dot’s back! Yay!

Hello red dot!’

- Last words of the late Prime Minister, Jonny Smayh.