Supreme Team 8

I stepped into the abbey or as I’d call it one hell of a big Church. The walls stood tall, full of cracks. Candles give brief light and the weird priests singing in Latin topped off the creepiness of this place. This was definitely the location; Po-Pe was here, well here somewhere. His radical ideas to revolutionize the planet had gone to far. Three major scientists dead and its not even Friday yet, what a week. I had come alone, thought I might be able to turn on the charm, you know reason with him. I began to walk down the isle-passing row after row of seats checking my back at every chair. He plays surprisingly dirty for a religious man and had one hell of a spear. He disappeared after operation bravo where White tried to do some recruiting. I paused, one hell of an old building plus a mad man meant he had plenty places to hide and help himself to a hell of a lot of fine wine.

 

“You shouldn’t of came here Flame” I heard a crusty old voice say from the corner, search over there was Po-per spear in hand and his face hidden as they all seem to do.

 

“Three scientists end up with spears through their gut and a man I know who supports religious views and carries spears is someone I shouldn’t look for? I can’t believe I have been so foolish” I said mocking him, maybe a bad idea when he had the spear but you know things have to be done.

 

“That was not me Flame, i have been here repenting my sins from my previous actions” he said and although it seemed he was telling the truth, he was hiding something, could tell from the canyon like wrinkles, which had appeared, on his crinkly old forehead.

 

 

“Please, your still one inch short of lunacy and I’d take that as a compliment” I said, I knew from previous experience that winding him up could set him off like a bomb but it was one way of getting what I needed. Used and abused I think the old saying is.

 

 

“Since when did you become such a argumentative, un-negotiable gentlemen”? He said, well I wasn’t like that but some of the most successful people in the world are pricks *cough, Simon Cowell. It gets the job done and that is something as a team we had sucked at lately.

 

 

“Since I learned sometimes you have to be to get the job done,” I said.

 

 

“You’re not taking me in” he said glaring at me like he was going to violently rip my body into a few million pieces, so I guess it could have been worse, freeing to death being a particular fear.

 

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

 

“I’m innocent I tell you, I swear on the bible, on Jesus, on my son” he said stepping forward aggressively, this killer still had some fight in him, not sure he did these killings though.

 

 

“You have a son?” I asked. His eyes shriveled in to the back of his head. His palms grew sweatier. Maybe this was the answer, was like taking candy from a baby. Someone who has met superheroes and still believes in religion can’t be the brightest of the bunch to be fair when you put your mind to it.

 

 

“Maybe that’s the answer then…” I said, his palms turning from rivers to lakes, the fear on his face from slightly scared to pooed his pants scared. I had him.

 

“He wouldn’t!” he shouted, planting his spear fir in the ground.

 

“I might have to question him,” I said trying to do this in a you know, nice manner? A boy approached, hooded carrying wine. Told you, the place is full of the stuff.

 

“Run!!!...To get him you will have to go through me!” he shouted. Guess that was his son, I tried to make a move but took his spear to the face, sending me flipping in to the chairs. Lip popped, back aching and I have not even thrown a punch…. great. I scrambled up. I didn’t see his face and he was getting away, not the great success I was looking for!

 

“Get out my way Po-Pe I’ll deal with you later” I said trying to be peaceful with this being a church and that but talking to this guy was like speaking to a brick wall half the time with his mind constantly aroused by religious gobbled gook. Sure religion was like his porn…best possible way to describe it.

 

He went to swipe at me again, I ducked and kicked out at his knee. He fell slightly but he was one big mama. Was trying to avoid using my powers so I didn’t hurt him. Then he did it…he kicked me square in the nuts. He went to drive is spear through my back but I managed to roll out the way despite my minor casualty’s down below. I raised my hand and with a poof of my flames sent him across the abbey and into a large pile of bibles. I went to start my chase. Then I smelt and smelt again. I had only gone and set the books on fire. As much as I didn’t like the guy frying him may have been a bit harsh.  I ran over and chucked one of them old tapestries over him and the books.

 

“The tapestry!” said a priest, as I turned round

 

“Mehh what you going to do, I’ll said you a new one in the post and it will have Spiderman on and everything!” I shouted running past him and down a series of corridors with no clue where I was going. I crashed out the back door. The light glared shining off a metal.

 

“Good job I waited round the back eh” said Steel in his purple and black uniform holding the father by the collar. This didn’t seem normal; Scott would usually spend his day on the sofa stuffing his face then go on a mission and always carried his hammer, he was like a baby with a dodi. This was totally out of character, to the same extent as rabbits giving up breeding…that extreme.

 

“What are you doing here Steel?” I asked, I had made it clear this was a one-man show,

 

“Backing you up?” he said smiling.

 

“Hmmm” I said, scratching my chin, I hadn’t had any jammie dodgers today, so my brain was having to work extra hard. Then it came to me, I knew who this was!

 

“Put him down Convertess, Scotts far to lazy to come here and back me up on his own” I said basking in my cleverness. She transformed into her true self. Long dark brown hair, skinny, big boobs but still had the strength of an ox but that creepy black and red mask made her quite a scary customer although I did not protest her tight leather suit. The father began to struggle but her viscous elbow to the head put a stop to that. She probably would be quite attractive if she wasn’t firstly one evil bitch and secondly I’d never date a girl who could beat me up!

 

“ Was it my pretty eyes which give me away?” she said turning to me and tilting her had in a cocky smile.

 

“Please Ashley your eyes are as pretty as my left bum cheek, I just no my team, what does White want with him?” I laughed. It’s funny how banter between heroes and villains can be quite fun.

 

“My names Convertess to you, he wants him to stop killing scientists and start killing more worthy pray…watch your back” she said.

 

“Do you really think I’m just going to let you walk away!”? I said but as I did a helicopter hovered down with Frostier, White and a bunch of his merried men disembarking. “FUCK!” I said.

 

“Pyro I think you can concede defeat here, resistance would be a punkish thing to do” White said, pushing his fingers through his shoulder length blonde hair. His suit was freakishly white again. Not sure how he gets those stains out, must be some extra powerful Persil but the cheeky little moustache was new.

 

“Jamie, I nearly killed you once, don’t make me do it again, wouldn’t want to break those lovely glasses, or tear that plastic jacket” said Dan or as I should call him now Frostero. He wore his tight suit green suit with his hair still spiky. Good to see part of him didn’t change that night. I could never forgive him for what he had done…never.

 

“Its Leather durrbrain” I said trying to frustrate him. He stepped forward creating a dagger of ice, which dripped for my blood.

 

White prevented him from progressing “Calm down Frostero, he is only a pawn in our game” he said, disrespecting my status as leader of the Supreme Team, not for the first time either.

 

“What are you up to White” I shouted, why here, why now, we had not seen him in months.

 

“Might find out next time punk, get aboard Convertess, we have a celebration to hold as we triumph over the Supreme Team.

 

“Could I shake your hand, this is a very clever scheme but why lure me here.”

 

“You may,” he said and he stepped off the helicopter and shook my hand firmly unknowing of the tracker I had put in him. “And why did we lure you here, because the dungeon is impenetrable.

 

“What!” I shouted and as he said that a bunch of the guards jumped me from behind grabbing my glasses. An outburst of flames blew them off. But as I turned I was pushed into a pool of water.

 

“Odious Amigo “ Dan said, freezing the water. I could still see, I was alive but I was too cold to use my power. They lowered me into the dungeon locking the doors. I was trapped; with my glasses gone the team had no idea where I was. I felt my veins freezing slowly. I felt myself drifting away as if I had smoked a hell of a lot of pot…crap!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tellurian Review

Okay... Now you have a nice premise, but you are moving way too fast. If you slow it down a bit, I mean a lot then a reader may be able to read it and understand what is going on. Cursing is fine in my opinion but if the good guy is actually a upstanding good guy then he should not curse as much, it would make him seem more virtuous and good. The narration is from the main character's point of view I can see that, but it isn't well versed. To me he sounds like some street hoodlum that doesn't know proper English, or sentence structuring for that matter. Unless you explain later all of these references to the past of the book they will make no sense and will be extremely confusing. If your characters have powers explain how they obtained them and how it effected their lives not just that they do have powers, that is generally what prologue/first chapters are for, Exposition.



the world (me) cries out for salvation (snacks)
— creaturefeature