I don't know if I told this tale,
Another time; my thoughts regaled.
T'was merely of a passing dream
Which once could almost make me scream
But not with fear, from then or after;
No. It was the sound of laughter!
The dream, you see, in sleep-filled mind
Was one of an extraordinary kind.
We both were walking in the sky?
Alas, you had the skill to fly!
Be heed my warning, I'll make it clear,
My dreams are not prophesies my dear.
So even though you could once fly -
My advice is, please don't try!
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140,903 Literary Works • 673,714 Reviews
I really liked this poem, it had a good flow and rhythm to it. I'm going to review each verse seperately...
I don't know if I told this tale,
Another time; my thoughts regaled.
T'was merely of a passing dream
Which once could almost make me scream
But not with fear, from then or after;
No. It was the sound of laughter!
I couldn't find any mistakes in this verse. It has a brilliant flow.
The dream, you see, in sleep-filled mind
Was one of an extraordinary kind.
We both were walking in the sky?
Alas, you had the skill to fly!
Be heed my warning, I'll make it clear,
My dreams are not prophesies my dear.
So even though you could once fly -
My advice to you is, please don't try!
The second line a little out of flow, a little too long. In the third line, the question mark seems a little out of place. If you changed the words around a bit or took away the question mark, It might work out better. Why would you say alas, wouldn't it be a good thing to fly?
Anyway, this was a very good poem and I really enjoyed reading it, keep up the good writing.
I am new to this site so I'm not sure how things are done on here. I hope that I did this review right...
- Sim