Call me, call me. Please call me.
I'm waiting for you, can't you see.
Stuck here waiting in this room,
you're sending me crazy, please come soon.
It really isn't all that hard
to sneak in here right past the guard.
You promised you'd come so I wouldn't go mad,
and admit it you miss me, I know when you're sad.
If you come and rescue me
we'll run away to eternity,
but not in heaven, not for us,
I don't want that; I'm a genius.
Not just a genius, an evil one
you come get me we will run
together we will catch and kill
and stab and murder, hang and drill
right through their tiny little brains.
"They're all different" no, they're all the same.
Those stupid little tiny apes
marvelling at the stupid shapes
around them, they don't even deserve
one tiny second to be observed
but yet still we look at them
before we hack right through the stem
of their spinal chord.
So call me. Call me. Please call me
and together we will join and flee
this prison cell that holds me tight
and keeps me locked up through the night.
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140,546 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Love it! You are an amazing writer and I loved the plot of the poem. I enjoyed the twist and pace of the poem, as well. The way in which you painted a picture in the reader's mind was artistic and beautiful
Hey im no professional reviewer but anyway I really didnt get it at first but when I re-read it it made sense. I like how its a creepy love story, and how the person just waiting to get out of jail to do more rebelous things. My favorite linee when you said "those stupid little apes" its like a creepy love comedy in a way . Another line I love is when you said "im a genius .not jus a genius but an evil one" I like yasss this is me lol .
But anyway I didnt see any mistakes that you either fixed or already know about . I loved it and looking forward to you writing more . Your not a bad writer so you should totally write frequently .
Ill be watching looking for your new lastest mastermind of evil genius post. lol did that make sense??
Bye -oldsoulxoxo
Hello Sunnyanddinostomp! CHRISSY321 here with a review!
) I love how the prisoner is just going crazy, waiting for his love to come, and get him out of there. That only suggests that they kill together- so why is she not in jail? Lucky and got away? 
SO many possibilities! That is cool. It kinda gets really dark when he prisoner thinks he and his love are the smartest, and everyone else as 'apes with brains that are fun to kill' ! So dark... I like it.
*Happy Review Day!*
I love this poem! It is morbid, dark, funny in a dark way- just my type! This is so cool, yet creepy in way as if YOU are the real prisoner! (You are not just kidding
I also like how you made this whole thing rhyme! that is cool, and adds some chills to it, because you can just imagine this deranged man just saying this aloud- just a big creepy time! I also think it is kinda - (Do not have a word to describe it) - that the prisoner knows and does not care that he will not be in heaven, but hell! I really do not know how to describe it- but it just is.
I did not see any mistakes- that is good! So I have nothing to correct! That is a good thing to have as a writer! YAY! That is it for me- thanks for sharing! I greatly encourage you to keep writing!
Hello!
This poem surprised me a bit (in the good way, of course!). In the beginning, it starts with the narrator begging his lover to see him, to run away with him. Me, being a romantic and all that, was all touched, then I read some more and watched as it took a gruesome turn. Very unexpected, but the plot-twist kinda urges the reader to keep going. Well done!
Nice rhythm, but I noticed that you need to correct the following phrases:
"Those stipid little tiny apes,"
"this prizon cell that holds me tight,"
Just a minor mistake, but it's one that the reader notices fairly quickly. Ah, and an apostrophe before the 'T' in, "I'm waiting for you, cant you see."
Otherwise, good work! Keep on writing!
~Owl
Thanks for the review!
That was a little gruesome. Not that I didn't like it but, you don't usually imagine a love poem like that. I loved it though. My favorite line was
So call me. Call me. Please call me
and together we will join and flee
this prizon cell that holds me tight
and keeps me locked up through the night
However there was one error
this prizon cell that holds me tight
I believe the correct spelling is
this prison cell that holds me tight.
Overall though, I loved it! Keep writing and I'm sure you'll achieve great things one day.
(however I hope not through a jail cell)
thanks for the reveiw. I'm really glad you liked it.
Hello, here to review your poem!
Wow this is amazing. I love how the story keeps up and the rhyming seems extremely natural for the reader. The use of free verse makes the poem a little more personal and an enjoyable read.
I think my favourite part is when you go:
together we will catch and kill
and stab and murder, hang and drill
right through their tiny little brains
The idea that this completely drags the entire poem to another level and makes them sit there, shocked, thinking 'Boy, that escalated quickly!' You also use funny imagery like tiny little brains. This tells the reader that you think that they should feel inferior to you.
I only really have one nitpick-puntuation. After the first stanza, no punctuation appears on the ends of the lines. I would suggest maybe implementing some in somehow. I think this may have just been a mistake however, since some of the lines are still capitalised at the beginning.
Overall I really enjoyed reading this and I encourage you to write more ^-^
Well, that's all from me,
a short review,
Godly