Published September 1, 2011
A whisper of hope.
Sullen cries of opportunity.
The tool of my freedom is a knife.
I will only be free when i am gone.
I am trapped within my prison of family, friends and morals.
I only want to escape.
I am being tortured from the inside out by my thoughts.
My regrets.
I ask myself, can i ever be free?
No-one answers.
I want to go but i'm scared.
Scared of myself.
And then i realise.
I am already FREE.
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138,417 Literary Works • 672,117 Reviews
Hi there!
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It has a great flow and there's no part where it falters from the flow. You put good emotion into this. I would like to see you use more punctuation though. I know when I write poetry I tend to simply use a comma or period at the end of every line. But if you use punctuation (or don't in some cases) it really adds to the poem. Add a dash or semi-colon in there to make the reader pause and think. Control the way your poem is read. Punctuation can do that.
I feel like everyone feels this way once in a while.
Overall this is a good poem. I hope this was helpful! Keep writing!
This is really deep stuff. I remember three years ago I felt the same way with my life. Just remember at the very end of a dark path is light that will be there waiting for us, and when we reach it we find that everything is going to be all right, this part in your life is only an obstacle that you have to get by. Take is slow with baby steps and you'll make it.