Hello!
Stegosaurus here for a review!
I must admit, whoa o-o. This was an awesome piece of poetry, depicting Halloween! Even though you very little imagery, I can still imagine the whole killing and thought of Ehud, just sends shivers down my spine. This poem, also seems to be a fast paced one, like a brakeless train. Most face paced poems seem to just splatter words onto a page hoping for it to make sense to the reader, however, yours seems to leave me in the suspense. Nicely done.
In the beginning, you set the stage, with suspense and sudden worriness for the narrator. With the whole array of imagery, you leave the reader wanting more.
However, when re-reading it outloud, I can feel the beat and the tone of the poem. There is just one thing:
his near,
dear l i f e .
As the previous reviewer said, it doesn't seem to make sense or doesn't come across as important. The spacing of life just made it seem confusing and hard to read-- what I suggest it just putting in italics, however, that is completely up to you.
Overall, this was a nicely done poem that definitely gave me shivers. I hope to read more of your work, later on.
If you like me to go over anything, let me know!
Steggy
It really means a lot. I don't have any hidden meanings for the "A" in the first stanza, I just liked how it looked there. As for the bit about the asylum, the word "asylum" means both "a place to house insane people" and "a state of calm." I meant it as a subtle play on words, hahaha. Oh, and when something is "near and dear" to an individual, that item is precious and coveted. I simply meant that the head doctor values his life very much. Again, thanks so much for the constructive criticism! I will think about your advised changes and act accordingly
Points: 25891
Reviews: 279
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