Published July 21, 2009
Seems like we miss it every time--
the music too quiet,
the outside noise too great.
We hear the bells,
leap up shrieking to get the door and then
it's gone,
too far to catch.
So we eat ice cream from our own freezer
and wait for it to come back around.
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141,312 Literary Works • 674,341 Reviews
Do you know you posted this twice:
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Hey Stripes ^^ Shina here for a review
I. Nitpicks
No comma needed hear.
"And then" should be on the next line or get its own line.
II.Overall
Cute poem, Stripes. There's not much to review, but you may need to think more about the moral or story. Waiting for the ice cream man... there could be more story to this, maybe describe more of what goes on during the summer.
Hope this helps
-Shina