Published April 2, 2007
Will I End
tonight i find myself in my room
dwelling on times now past
these memories seem so never ending
like these times are looping.. and fast.
i cant help but stand it..
your smell burns me to the soul
all the souvenirs and pictures
remembering you were in my home
you took over my life
capturing every single minute
to let me fall more deeply
savouring every moment in it
i wish i could now find some release
find something to distract me
from all these endless tears and battles
wish you weren't someone to combat with
i dont know where it all went wrong
my 3 months went down the drain
i could write this poem forever
there's no end to this bullsh*t pain
sometimes i feel like dying
do you even recognise that fact?
that you leave me no longer willing
no will to be breathe, or even act
i cant keep up this sherade
cant reinforce this empty happiness
when all I feel is gone
like i should enter the dark abyss
i should leave this lonely world
go and end my hurt and sorrow
at least knowing maybe someday
you'll regret that i'll be gone tomorrow
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
Very nice, the rhyme works well and is very good. I like the "your smell burns me to the soul" - it is an effective choice of words.
In the third stanza I also think that you create a very good image and tone with words like capturing and savouring.
Very well written. An emotionally charged piece - you get over the pain in a very effective manner.
A very emotional piece. Well written and very meaningful.
This was the only line I was slightly unsure about...
It just doesn't sound right. Other than that very good!
Alainna
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Very deep and emotional. It is very good. You show real pain but at the same time show some pain that others have probably felt. Keep it up!