Published January 21, 2009
Heart beating. Chest heaving.
A scarred face looks back from the water. A torn soul shows in its eyes. Those can't be my eyes!
Phoenix. They name me for one of their legends. But it isn't my name. Doesn't anyone remember Avari Tigersong?
They mean well, but I am sick of good intentions. They don't understand; they never will.
Does anyone remember Avari?
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Hi there Stori,
This is a very nice piece, I'd just like to make one suggestion.
Maybe you should switch:
with:
It would add an ending of desperation as though he were saying: "Doesn't anyone remember me?"
Anyway, I hope the suggestion helped.
Have a good one!
who is that avari???
i dont know who that is