The Burks' cat is trying hard to convey a thought: Pet me. His green eyes plead silently; his tail waves lazily. I laugh and scratch behind his black ear.
"Are you as bored as I am, Oreo?" The cat's only reply is to start purring.
Mrs. Burk, who I can tell has been watching, steps into the living room. Her off-white shirt somehow matches the color of the sofa. "You've got to watch that one. He'll be in your lap in a minute."
At that, Oreo's purring speeds up.
"How'd you get him?"
"Now that's a story. A friend found him starving and, seeing as he already had two cats, sent him our way." Outside, two cyclists flash by on their silvery steeds. The grandfather clock in the hall chimes four-thirty.
This is simply an experiment. Please be kind.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi, Stori! Long time, no see!
I'm not sure what you're experimenting, so we'll see if I even have valuable advice for you. xD
I think the setup was adorable. Probably 'cause I'm a cat person, but I like Oreo. A lot. XD The other characters I have no connection with, and I don't quite understand the ending. I feel like the 4:30 and the cyclist should be important, but I don't see why they would be. Probably has something to do with the title too, but I'm not drawing any connections between anything.
Mrs. Burk's story also could have been longer. She started out by saying that it was quite the story, but she told the whole thing in a single sentence. Seemed contradictory to me.
Hope that gave some insight on your experiment. ^^
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
Hey!
- and its background.
I liked this. It was a good piece for only being an experiment. Can I ask what you were experimenting with - or is it blindingly obvious and I just need to stop being so darn stupid
It had a nice flow to it and your descriptions were nice.
There's not really that much to comment on, as it's so short and we don't really have a plot or in depth characters to get our teeth into.
I'd like to see this continued. You could explain more about Oreo the cat - cool name by the way
Nice job!
xDudettex