Published December 20, 2010
"Well, this is it," Keona muttered. A soft yap of agreement sounded at her feet.
She smiled, which did much to lighten her travel-stained face. Tired hazel eyes reread the sign swinging gently in front of her: The Lazy Dog. Wonderful, she thought.
The door opened at her hesitant touch. Inside, a surprisingly young innkeeper was leaning over the counter, telling a joke to a patron. He saw her, straightened, and raised a hand with spread fingers.
"Good evening. I'm after a room for two." Keona's voice was only a little rough from lack of use.
"Two?" The 'keeper's face seemed acquainted with laughter; a smile was teasing at his almost-handsome face.
"Two. Is the other on her way here? What name should I give?"
"She's here." Another yap made itself heard. The guests craned their heads to see a silver vixen examining them all. She gave them a proud but nervous stare from white-rimmed eyes.
One of the men spoke up. "Matrim," he said, "will that beast give us trouble?"
Keona held her breath.
"No," the young man replied. Then he stepped from behind the counter. "Miss Wanderer, and your small friend, welcome to my house."
Some of the tension left her. She slipped off her pack with the ease of one used to the road.
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141,428 Literary Works • 674,409 Reviews
Cute. The human and her lovely companion, always able to relate. Makes me miss my own dog.): I truly enjoyed this little piece, and feel that there might be something more...? Something along the lines of proving just how extraordinary our dogs can be?
~Panda;;
I got confused the first time I read this part here, thinking there was something inside the innkeeper. Perhaps, you should a comma between "Inside" and "a surprisingly..."?
I love it! It's great, you could make this story go anywhere. Just this short (and I mean extremely short) piece of writing instantly brightens up your day when you read it. It's wonderful! You should extend it, it could be something really special.
First question: Is this a prologue?
Second: If so, will there be more?
I thought this was a really cute short story or story cut. Especially the little vixen part. I loooove foxes. Anyways, I can't find any grammatical or spelling errors, and as far as problems, the only thing that caught me up was when you wrote " 'Keeper's ". I couldn't tell if it was intentional or not, but if not, then that's the only real problem worth fixing. Well, that problem, and the length problem: You should TOTALLY add more length to this! I don't care if it's just a short little story about the wanderer releasing the vixen to the wild or if it turns into a full-out novel of their adventures, I still think there should be more! The fox is too cute to just end here! And thus, I rest my case. ^.=.^