Love and Loyalty scene

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: So, this was a pretty interesting little scene here, it feels like perhaps it is in fact a scene that's kind of taken out of the middle of a much larger piece here...but it is a fun little scene to read.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey..."

Out of habit, Truepaw took his place in the clearing halfway through the summons. He was surprised to find Graymoon already sitting in front of the warriors' den, tail wrapped around his paws.

Okayyy...well I will start by saying that I'm not familiar with the fandom that this is from, so I'll just be judging this as a regular old scene here. And as far as one of those go...this seems a bit of an abrupt start here, we've got no idea where anyone is or at least even where someone is in relation to another so its a bit of a tough scene to visualize, but I can infer that this is some sort of important meeting scenario going on here...and that's a nice little touch of information there.

He nodded to his friend and settled himself.

"Well, well." There might have been gray in Redstar's fur, but he surveyed his Clan with a keen eye. "Gathering tonight, isn't there? Firefall, you'll be going-" the young warrior raised her head proudly- "and you, Frostheart. I trust you'll get along."

Okay...it appears that these two are about to get sent on some sort of mission and the whole "will they get along" thing is a pretty fun little extra addition that does a good job of bringing across the fact that each cat here has unique personalities so that's nice to see. The fact that these two are named "fire" and "frost" is a very interesting touch there too.

Amused purrs went around the camp. The friendly rivalry between the two cats was something of a ThunderClan in-joke.

"As for apprentices- Finchpaw, of course; Leafpaw and Stormpaw."

Despite himself, Truepaw sat up straighter. Let me come, too...

Okay...I like that line about how the clan laughs there...its a nice little extra touch to show that there is history here that's shared between all of these members and that just makes this whole thing feel a lot more realistic as a clan of cats here.

"Truepaw. I'd ask you to come, but it's too soon after your 'betrayal' of ShadowClan. I'm sorry."

"I... understand. If you see Shadepaw, tell her I said hello."

Redstar dipped his head, a solemn promise.

I didn't betray ShadowClan. They're the ones who gave up on me.

Okay...so that's an interesting ending, we first have one person who appears to have done something against the rule of this larger clan and therefore isn't going on this expedition which is one thing, but then we end with someone who's POV suggests that the clan is wrong in what they did. First of all this is a bit hard to judge cause it isn't very clear there's a POV character in first person till the very end. Other than that though, it is lovely bit of a cliffhanger there to end on...definitely makes you intrigued and leaves you wanting to read on there.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, this scene has a couple of issues that I pointed out, but for the most part this is a very simple scene and its a pretty fun read here. At any rate, that's about all I've gotta say for now.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry