Published February 5, 2011
Ms. Crandall addressed her students in her resonant voice. "Today we will be studying literature. Please open to-"
A cheerful male tone interrupted. "Is this the Canterbury Female Academy? I have a new student!"
Contrary to the class's expectations, Mrs. Crandall did not lose her composure. Indeed, a small smile tugged at her lips. "Jacob. Please come in."
With a respectful nod, he entered. Students whispered and nudged each other. They laughed even harder when, instead of a girl, a large black-and-tan dog entered the room.
"I never knew you to play practical jokes, Jacob."
Jacob smiled- which caused quite a few whispers. "No, ma'am. Solace insisted on coming in."
As the students patted Solace, their teacher's attention was caught by a movement at the door.
A slight figure stood backlit, one hand on the knob. Dark skin seemed almost a heresy in this sanctum of white culture.
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140,946 Literary Works • 673,776 Reviews
This was very short and vague.It did not seem to tell us anything about the story. Describe things, people, the room, the dog, why is he called Solace? Who is Jacob? It also seemed to jump around. It was hard to tell what was going on. It is, again, very short to review. But keep continuing it. Please. I want to read more!
that was really interesting and i wanted to keep reading but then i looked at the title and it seemed to have some substance. nice work, it drew me but keep writing it!! i want to read more! whos the figure?
I want to know more!!
!
Great use of name, I like Mrs. Crandall. and also really good description.
Keep it going though
God bless
Anna
This is ,bluntly, to short. My suggestions:
~Go on with what happens with the figure. This piece could use a little more charecterization.
~ Describe the settings, it's boring without them. They help a lot.
~Longer. I cannot stress this enough.
~Describe everything. In a story like this we need to know this stuff. How old is Ms.Crandall? How many girls are in the room? How does Ms.Crandall know Jacob? Stuff like that makes a funner read.
~Are you cotinueing this? If not, more charecterization and more description.
Lastly, my correction
s.Keep writing1