When I was young, I thought
“I’d love you better than he.”
When I was young, I never thought
How well you might love me.
When I was young, I had a dream
Of you sheltering me from the shadows
When I was young, I never dreamed
That you were trapped in the shallows.
I am still young, but now I think
I loved you wrong and I was wrong,
And we were both young, is all I can think.
You were my equal all along.
I am still young, and I love to dream
Of fairy tales, brave adventures, maybe bliss.
But I guess I’m more into the alternative stuff
And you just always wanted this.
Wow I i am so speechless this is amazing!!! I defiantly know what you mean in this poem it speaks to me in so many ways!!
Please keep writing
I'll try to be the first to review them
This poem is obviously gonna be my fave
I've feel like this for a very long time
and its nice to know that someone feels the same way!!
If you need anything im here but all in all keep
on writing!!!
I enjoy your poems btw!!
You're a really good writer. It took me two reads to fully comprehend what this was about because it was deep and took a lot of thinking. I love the part where you wrote
"I am still young, and I love to dream
Of fairy tales, brave adventures, maybe bliss.
But I guess I’m more into the alternative stuff
And you just always wanted this."
The wording of your poem is great and it really captures how young people don't fully understand the extent of love, and the sacrifices that you have to make for it. Keep it up this poem was amazing. I don't have any critiques.
I love the concept and emotion thrown into this poem, it shows how you can be naive when you're young, however some parts are read a little awkwardly, and can be phrased a little better. I find this poem very relatable, and a lot of people can relate to it.
This is a really good poem! I really like the way you showed how being young can mean being naive and having all these grandiose and uninformed thoughts about love and relationships and thinking that "we'll be together forever". I have experienced those thoughts that you express in your poem, thoughts of thinking back to who I was when I was young and realizing that I didn't see reality through a knowing eye. I really like the part where you said "When I was young, I had a dream/ Of you sheltering me from the shadows/ When I was young, I never dreamed/ That you were trapped in the shallows." This part really shows the message you want to get across. It is very well thought out, and is really clear as to what you are talking about. Some poems are written in such a way where you have no idea what they are trying to say, but this one really stands out as being an understandable and relatable poem that reminds the reader of themselves and the thoughts and unwise emotions they have had. Really good job on this!
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