Hello! I stumbled upon your poem and decided I would give it a review. I'm just going to dive right in your poem was pretty good but you are missing just a few things that can be easily fixed. First your poem is missing the emotion that I was hoping would unravel in this poem. It left me longing for something to describe the girls thoughts but nothing was given. I also would suggest you use more imagery in this poem. You have a decent bit but for the location you chose you have a ton of room to add more imagery that would make the reader feel as if they were the girl. Before moving to the next point I would say this seemed more of a short story than a poem. Anyways, the next problem I would say arose as I read was that the poem had barely any capitalization at the beginnings. My final critique is that you put a summary of how you wrote the poem before the start of the poem. It can be distracting. I hope I did not sound like a jerk. Overall the poem was great it could just use a little editing to make it the masterpiece it has the potential of being.
Points: 11
Reviews: 24
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