I'm just a little flower
in my lovely simple bower
waiting to blossom
at the right time.
My fellows have been pruned
my mother has been used
and I'm just waiting to bloom.
Everyone around me has either been cut
or I dunno what, I'm just a little flower.
They've blossomed and been taken
to the world that the humans are makin'
but I just want to be where all the people are
and my fellow flower buds, but they are just too far.
Waiting to bloom, waiting to be pruned, oh but wait!
I see a human walking towards
my little bud of a flower.
He cuts the cords
that were binding my bud
but as he realizes I haven't bloomed
I'm just set down to die and to be doomed.
My vine isn't connected
to the old earth so im just welted.
That is the end
of my little bud flower
so just send
my love
to my dearest
mother that lives near the bower.
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139,757 Literary Works • 672,706 Reviews
Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.
That having been said:
Thanks for sharing this delightful poem.
I like the way that you personify the flower and have it speaking as if it were an innocent child. To me it symbolizes how we all wish to remain in touch with those we love. How we all hope that we can fit into society in the way that most normal people do. How those who find themselves outside of the usual pattern feel that they have failed. It also seems to connote an afterlife. We are cut down by death and yet many of us have hopes of seeing our loved ones again during a promised resurrection.
Looking forward to reading more of your poetry.
This poem has such a deep meaning to it. I love it!
Hiya! Izzy here for a really crappy and random review.
I really like that the flower has feelings, and that the flower is watching all of the other flowers get cut and taken away. *lei crie*
No misspellings, or grammatical errors, just some missing commas, and I think you did really well! Keep writing and tag me in the next post you make.
I enjoyed this story!
Izzy
Hey there, lydiathechica, CocoaCat here!
You know, I was just thinking, if all plants had feelings, vegans would eat air.
Anyway...
This is so sad, the poor little flower. I can just imagine it's forced smile while it tries to convince itself that one day it will be out in the world.
*tear streaks down face*
That ending is so sad.
But anyway, this is really good, and vivid.
Keep writing!
Legacy here for a review
I love this story of a flower wanting to blossom and join where the rest of the flowers have gone. I don't think you needed to use forced rhyme like you have in this poem though. I think it takes away, but feel free to leave it if you like it. The ending was so sad, I wish the flower got what they wanted (never thought I would write a sentence like that today xD) but I think it works for the story and emotion you are trying to portray.
That's all I have, Legacy out.