Young Writers Society

Was reading your poem, "worriers," and this column at the right side caught my attention, and I felt like reading this one out.

And after reading I felt like leaving behind a review for this beautiful poem... This might be your first poem in YWS because the date of your joining YWS and the date of publishing this poem is saaame.

And I must say, it is awesome. It has a smooth flow of feelings. The pattern of thoughts is amazing.
Like, first describing the effect--- the whole feeling, that complete emotion in JUST one word. Like in the lines,

"Blinding, burning, slicing.

I see everything, hear everything.

Foggy, dark, caught in a haze."
It's awesome. This gives the poem a type of rythm and beat.

Then the examples are like... It's exactly that kind of feeling which one gets in reality: talking about "Burning coal on skin and haze over the eyes" thing.

I want to move but I am frozen... HAPPENS, dude, Happens!! Want to speak, but lips sewed ... Everything describes the exact feeling.
Last line is beautifully. Lifeless shape, burns burns burns.
Use of burns thrice again adds to the rythmic pattern and adds emphasis on the feelings.

It's a wonderful poem.

Keep writing and we would love to keep reading and reviewing them!

Have a great day / night!

With love,
Eros.

I understand the fog and daze so much. This seems like something I've written before. Really good imagery, and use of descriptive language. I hope your anxiety is not too bad.

Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

Italicized = My interpretation of the line
Bolded = Spelling mistake
Strikethrough = Remove
Underline = Add imagery/descriptive words

Hello! welcome to YWS! first of all id like to say that this was really good. it really embodies what an anxiety attack feels like to some people and I applaud you on that. The imagery is astounding and really freaking good. I could picture everything perfectly in my head.

Id also like to say that I would probably show this to someone if they asked what an anxiety attack is like. A lot of people mix anxiety attacks in with panic attacks and it gets confusing on what your writing about. then again, anxiety is different for everyone. I really think this gives an outside eye perspective about what its like to experience one.

Keep writing my dude! I look forward to seeing more of your work on here.

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.

So, the first thing that I notice when reading your poem, is that, well, nothing! The grammar was good, the spelling a-o-k and the flow was perfect! Congrats on that! My favorite line would have to be "I want to speak, but my lips are sewed shut." And to be honest, I feel like this sometimes. I wanna talk but I just simply can't.

I loved this work and in the future, please tag me!

Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! So, happy Valentines Day ! I really need to go now, Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Annnd I think he brought a dinosaur to life. Great. Anyways, Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If i offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)

I am a child of severe anxiety. I understand this completely! Not many people deal with, it's hard to work and be around.

From what I can see you don't have any grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.