Verse 1
She was just a baby girl
Yet to find her own new world
Filled with voices in her mind
All she needs is more time
But everything is falling
Falling through the floor
She can't find the time
To pick herself up anymore
Chorus
She keeps on falling down
She don't want herself around
She keeps on crying out for help
Just waiting for something more
Her tears are a river
She still finds time
To drown in herself
She just wants to be picked up off the shelf
Verse 2
Her Mumma and Poppa
They tell her things don't come in pairs
They say to stop dreaming
She pulls on her shoes
Walks herself to school
Finds her own new melody
Sits under her favourite tree
Wishing she had her music box
Lull her into sleep
Escaping another day
Chorus
She keeps on falling down
She don't want herself around
She keeps on crying out for help
Just waiting for something more
Her tears are a river
She still finds time
To drown in herself
She just wants to be picked up off the shelf
Bridge
She breathed her last air of hope
And tried to make it through the day
She sits in the room by herself
Thoughts of suicide
Breaking up the small girl inside
All she was is fading
Chorus
She has finally fallen down
She isn't torn down
She is finally at peace
Just found that something more
Her tears are washed away
Slipped into nothing
He ran out of time picking her up off the shelf
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Very Nice lyrics, I can see a good rhythm. Just a few things (I'm not going to use quotes just so you know.)
Out of my opinion Mumma seems kind of awkward to me. It may just be because I expect it to sound how it is spelt. Don't also seems a bit weird to me when you say it in the chorus. If it were me (which it isn't) I would change that to doesn't.
I'm not the best editor but I read the whole thing and mainly it was just the choice of those words that only stuck out for me. Keep it up.