Young Writers Society

I agree a lot with what Fukase said; write an emotional piece in the moment then let it sit for a while before finishing and polishing it up.
I REALLY am into this 'lrycal' poetry that doesn't rhyme, the one thing that gave me trouble was that there really was no flow/ rhythm to the poem, even if it doesn't rhyme, give it a rythm to follow.

Hi,
I have no introduction; hitherto, I love your avatar. Cute.

In a skimmed read, your poem is so nice and honest and I really can't say this, but I understand your feeling painted in this poem. You wrote it simple and short, but still there were some points you could try to make it more understandable because you know, when we are expressing ourselves especially in writing poetry, if it is done in one seating, it is more like a self-read poem and not to be read by others because you might think your poem is clear, but for me, I am not in your shoe, so a piece of advice, after you'd done writing a poem in the moment, one day or even one week later, read back your poem and improve it when you have a better mood and make me feel like I am in your shoe.

Alright, sorry for preaching.

This poem started out in a nice flow with concrete words were used, and in the middle or in the climax (if this was a story), the flow started to run away which is for me was somewhat in an abrupt way which its pacing went off a little. I didn't mean you can't do the transition from a slow ride to a fast one; I mean you should be more aware of the transition done and don't rush things because poetry is a whole, if the beginning is okay, but the end isn't, it fails the readers. If you want me to point which part I meant, I put it in the quotation below.

Do people care about me, or are they just sorry for me
and hate to see me cry?
Why does no one notice my suffering?
Is there a way to stop the spreading jealousy?
I don’t like the pain.
It has been too long and too much.
Please.
Show some compassion.

Start small.
It might not seem like much, but it will help.
Or will it?

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

The poem is grammatically correct and there are no spelling mistakes. I like the use of the simile “tears like waterfalls” and adding several more will help to make this piece more poetic. I like the clear way that of psychological pain the speaker feels is initially expressed. The yearning for compassion and self-understanding was moving as was the distrust in sincerity.

However, after this mood of uncertainty concerning motives is established the writer tells us that the people involved are ignorant and selfish and jealous.

"Is there a way to stop the spreading jealousy?"

"Don’t be like all the rest of them, so ignorant and selfish."

This made me pause to wonder, if the speaker knows that the people are selfish, ignorant and jealous, then why ask about their motives or express confusion about their behavior? Obviously they aren't friends.


Suggestion

The two parts of the piece contradict each other and need to be brought into logical harmony.
A person can’t know and not know the reasons for people’s behavior simultaneously.

Am I worth it...
[Am I worth it?]

The composition starts as a dramatic monologue directed at no one in particular and seems more like an introspection that the reader is allowed to eavesdrop on.

Dramatic Monologue
https://www.britannica.com/art/dramatic-monologue

Then at the end, it suddenly shifts to the second person singular “you”. It would be better for the poem to remain consistent.

The questions about ability to change left me wondering why the speaker has doubts in his ability to change. What extenuating circumstances are feeding this sense of helplessness?
What are the jealous people jealous about? The description of someone weeping in misery doesn't exactly inspire jealousy.

Looking forward to reading more of your poems.