Was this part of the plan?
Or just another scene?
That flew into reality
right off the silver screen?
I can’t believe it’s really true,
Isn’t this “make believe”?
The story that ends in tragedy,
That makes us want to leave?
But no, it’s right, this life I chose.
It’s mine for my mistakes.
And one day I’ll walk out of here.
And then I’ll be awake.
And in the final scene,
When he walks away,
He’ll never turn around,
He promised he wouldn’t stay.
The tears swell big inside your eyes,
As truth hits like a slap.
The world is spinning, a hundred miles,
I’m sure that I’ll adapt.
So I’ll throw this movie stub away,
And I’ll walk back home alone,
Even though this movie
I could have written on my own.
Because I’ve lived it once,
1000 times in my mind.
Still I think we have that connection.
We’ll always have that bind.
So I’ll cry myself to sleep,
And dream we didn’t part.
For this past that never occurred
Remains forever in my heart.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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I really liked the description that you had here, and the rhythm worked really well. Your title drew me in, great job!
Is the only part that threw me off. The rhyme sounds a little forced here.I loved this though, awesome job.
~Poem
I like how this poem has a personal feeling to it that you can really relate to, it draws you in and holds you there until the end- love it!
because "a thousand times in my mind" is an extra thought, I added the dashes, and since I'm pretty much grammar crazy, I changed 1000 into wordsGreat job, and keep writing!
~Mel
I love it how it's so descriptive and it really draws you in! Good job!