Where Did I Go Wrong?

Oh, man! That's awesome. Old is gold, right? You are superb!

I wish I was around here in 2012 to read it at that time. It just looks so good. The structure, the words used, and everything is just so good.
I just wonder why you don't write poetry anymore? And if you don't want to, at least inspire me to write

That was really very good! I am glad I searched for it. It's just my lucky day today. haha
I wish I could write poems like you. Well done, dude. It was just awesome!

this is awesome

this is awesome

This is a really amazing read. There were a few things that didn't flow but they pretty well posted it down below...so I'm stuck with telling you how good this poem was. It truly was emotional and realistic. I liked that. It kept me interested all the way through so that's a good thing =P. I loved this poem. Keep writing. I want more like this that's for sure.

FireBird99

Hey there! Its me!! The fabulous KissMe!! And I'm going to give you a review!! Well this poem.. but you get the point!


Follow me and Jump/Swim/Crawl/ or fly in!!

I'm going to kind of break this up into parts. Cool? Cool!

First off i want to point out that this is an amazing poem that i can relate to. I loved this one, amazing job! I really like how the character questioned themselves, it makes it seem more real to me. I really liked the ending of the poem it was great.

Next thing I wanted to say was that to me it would look better put into stanzas. But then again their are poems that are just one big line, so if that is what you were trying to do please tell me.

Last thing I wanted to say was that your grammar, spelling, and punctuation was fine. It made the poem flow amazingly. Bravo to you!

Well that's all i had to say about the poem, it really was amazing. I hope to read more from you! And hopefully more like this. Thank you for the amazing read, and thank you for posting this work!

Keep writing and follow your heart!!

~KissMe

Hey! I like this I just saw a few things you could fix:

"Why am I the blame for this?"
I think you meant "Why am I to blame for this?"

"My words must of never add up to way you were living."
Should be "My words must have never added up to the way you were living."

"but you looked away from me, and looked to them."
I think you should use a different word instead of using looked twice. For example:
"but you turned away from me, and looked to them."
You don't have to, it's just a suggestion.

"The memories of you is just fog in my mind,"
Should be either "The memory of you is just fog in my mind,"
or "The memories of you are just fog in my mind,"

Anyways this is a nice poem. I suppose you'll have to do what's best for you. Good luck figuring everything out

I can tell you put a lot into this. There were some grammar and spelling errors, but it was still easy to read, beautifully at that. The thought betrayal, anger, and sadness is clear. Within I get the mood of someone letting go, moving on, and being the bigger person. I really enjoyed it, I felt as if I was the one experiencing all of it in something like a story. This really motivates means I hope to see you continuing with writing.

A very well written piece of work.
I rarely read poetry but when I do I tend to enjoy it.
However today I did not enjoy it.
I REALLY enjoyed it.
This was a wonderfully written piece of work with a deep sense of sadness in it.
I don't know if this is inspired by true events for you but this could be compared with real life scenarios.
However, watch out for spelling errors such

For example: 'I had to much pity for you'
This should be
'I had TOO much pity for you.

However other than those small spelling errors, which didn't interfere with the overall enjoyment of the piece, this was really well written and quiet heart warming and touching.

Well done and I hope you keep on writing like this.