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Young Writers Society



The Western Goddess, How Gingers Lose their souls, and other great mysteries

by SoullessGinger


In a world as wide and wonderful as ours, it seems absurd that some people deny the existence of the supernatural. And yet, skepticists persist. They twist the public to their side, striking us with fact, logic, and science. Don't misunderstand me, these have their place and their value, but where's the life? 

Where's the fun? The magic? The passion? Where's the question that shouldn't be answered, because in answering, all the holiness is lost? Where's the adventure in an explainable world? 

As the years drag on, and the media morphs the majority of magical beings into something so outlandish the public can't help but stop believing, little pockets of wild magic hold on. And sometimes, those little pockets grow and grow, for whatever reason. 

This is all very broad, very vague. I'm getting a bit off topic. You see, I'm one of those believers, striving to keep magic alive in the more imaginative minds of the world. And I've discovered a new phenomenon! Or rather, an old one, that I've succeeded in recording. It starts with an old legend, as most magic does...

Muses can be found in many a place. Lovers, nature, music, even in oneself. A muse inspires art, yes, but what truly births it is passion. Passion is a rare gift, given to anyone willing to open up their heart. Some say passion is a muse herself. Others say passion is the sun, a Goddess, a war... perhaps they're all right. 

What is known for sure is that she's from the West. They say she's a woman, tall as an oak tree and strong as a winter's gale wind. She travels only at sunset, clothed in a robe made of copper and flame. She comes as the sun burns brilliant orange, riding through the lengthening shadows on the back of her black crane. 

When the crane flies, his wings dance with the wind and people all through the land swear they've heard music like fire and tempest. 

"Passion, the Western Goddess is come again to the land of the living." 

She flies to the homes of women with child, and calls out to the unborn babe. She speaks but a single word- "Come." 

A strange burning spirit rises from the mother, and takes the Woman's hand.

Each spirit is a glorious specimen of greatness. Some, strong or breathtakingly beautiful. Perhaps another with a voice more powerful than the sea herself or a mind sharper than the scythe of Thanatos. Each unique, each gifted beyond belief. Each with a mane of real flame, twisting and snapping at the air with fierce heat.

The spirit, every time, turns to the mother, smiles and plants a kiss upon her stomach, before the Western Woman tugs gently upon their hand, and whisks them away upon the back of her black crane. All is silent in the land again.

Then, when nine moons have passed, when the mothers babe is born, their own head is adorned with a similar crown- but rather than true flame to burn a brand in the child's brow, wisps of copper hair promise a bright and passionate future- blessed by the goddess of the sun herself.

The babe will grow and find in themselves a great fiery hunger- only sated by the fulfillment of their deepest passion. Unsatisfied with a life denying themselves greatness- the bold, burning young artist is not fulfilled with tracings and doodles. The warrior finds themself seeking the bloodrush of battle, feeling weak and empty amidst peace. The inventor cannot smother the wildfire of ideas that threaten to ignite a city- denying themselves greatness destroys them from the inside out.

And there, in their most desperate hour, starving for a muse, or losing their passion- it appears- that spirit so long ago pulled from its mothers womb- now a perfect mirror of the lost, broken soul before it. It stands, almost sadly, looking at the vessel before them, that perhaps they would have burned within, if not for that hungry Woman, come down upon her black Crane. 

The Western Goddess is a jealous power. Her desire for art made of passions is all encompassing. And she knows, if the geniuses of the world were left whole, the gods would not be immortal for long.  

So she takes from them their spirits, leaving them searching for something, all their lives. Passion crowns them with a head of fire, to match the unquenchable fiery thirst within their hearts. 


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Fri Mar 04, 2022 3:34 pm
PoetryMisfit wrote a review...



Hello Soulless Ginger.

Your title immediately captured my attention, and I'm so glad it did. This piece struck me less as a story and more as an essay that morphs into a story. I'm curious to know what inspired the legend you described?
Your use of imagery is beautiful, your words both poetic and intriguing. I enjoyed hearing your voice at the beginning of the piece with your view on magic in our world.

There was really only one recommendation I had to make this piece even stronger:
"As the years drag on, and the media morphs the majority of magical beings into something so outlandish the public can't help but stop believing, little pockets of wild magic hold on." (I had to reread this sentence a couple of times to fully undertsand its meaning. I would recommend splitting it into two sentences to improve flow and readability).

I really enjoyed the legend, it had a very whimiscal tone and I felt transported into the story. I really like how you attributed a mixture of qualities to the Goddess, which gave her more dimension and believability. She is jealous, an emotion we can all associate with, which helped me to better understand her reason for stealing souls, but in no wayam I condoning it!

All in all, great job with this piece and I hope to read more from you!

- PoetryMisfit




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Wed Feb 16, 2022 9:39 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Oh, a story in answer to a truth question? I have definitely got to read it! This was rather an interesting piece we had here. I really liked how you managed to intrigue the interest of the reader from the very first paragraph.

One one point, I completely agree with Mailice and that is the story radiating an essay vibe. A short story generally tends to focus on the journey of a protagonist. Here, rather than the journey I think we had a very broad topic and views on that. It didn't really have a plot. So, well, this was more of a essay story thing(I don't know if that is a valid term).

The subject you wrote on was a very interesting one. I am kind of in the middle of everything due to my inability at developing opinions but I really liked how you at least made me think about the subject. From what I understood, passion is fierce(Oh, did it root from the fact that we say fierce passion) and kind of jealous. She takes away the souls from the genius people of the world, so they can only follow their passion and create artistic things. And also to save the Gods from the hands of genius people.

Although this have that fantasy, fairy tale vibe, it kind of shows some real world things in a different. I especially liked that aspect. Another thing is the narrator. I really liked how the narrator depicted the whole story and also, sometimes the POV seemed to change from first person point of view to the third person omniscient POV. While the former was important because it managed to evoke some feelings, the latter provided the information we needed on the topic. I wonder how the characters seemed to be real ones but they kind of seemed to be real ones. It's indeed a hard job to do that, so great job on that!

Overall, I really liked the subject and the themes portrayed.This was quite an artistic composition on a very interesting topic.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




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Sat Feb 12, 2022 3:19 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi SoullessGinger,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

This was an extremely interesting story that you wrote here, which I thought was a kind of essay at the beginning, because it started in that way.

You have written something that I like from the core. I like the openness and with the personality you use the style to create something like this, and was pleasantly surprised by the way you created the whole thing.

As mentioned before, I liked how you wrote a kind of essay with the beginning, where you briefly introduce and build up your topic, and try to answer it with one or more questions. It's exactly this kind of transition into the actual short story that you've done as if the reader is sliding down a slide.

I think, apart from a few times where you leaned too much overboard (where I think it went a bit too much into the description), I think it's very great.

Here fore example is a great paragraph:

As the years drag on, and the media morphs the majority of magical beings into something so outlandish the public can't help but stop believing, little pockets of wild magic hold on. And sometimes, those little pockets grow and grow, for whatever reason. 

I especially like how you used some rhetorical devices here, like the alliteration at the beginning and how you also used beautiful circumlocutions, like "little pocket". These things are refreshing and interesting, especially because there is also this transition from essay to short story.

Here is another example:

Muses can be found in many a place. Lovers, nature, music, even in oneself. A muse inspires art, yes, but what truly births it is passion. Passion is a rare gift, given to anyone willing to open up their heart. Some say passion is a muse herself. Others say passion is the sun, a Goddess, a war... perhaps they're all right. 

I have the impression that it's all mixed up here, and you're not just giving a list, but you're also trying to process it into some kind of text so that it doesn't seem so raw. I also think that this is one of those few points where the "essay" stands out a bit more clearly than the short story.

All in all, I liked this piece. It has something original about it and like how everything comes together in a kind of fairy tale and you create an interesting story.

Have fun writing!

Mailice





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