Young Writers Society

hello,
First of all I liked the puzzle part , and i think that we share the same opinion.
I believe that love is just a part of our spirit, we don’t need a special someone to feel love, and definitely not a special occasion to share it. We were created with love and every single part of us, is filled with it. Love is a power, it’s not something to achieve in life, or something to look for. It’s beyond the emotion and above everything else and we should let our kids know that it's more fun and wise to share love then to waste life looking for it .

Good Job, Keep the good work .

Zakaria.

I love how you compared yourself to a puzzle, mentioning the cracks. I liked that part, very original-in a good way.
It would've been better to make it longer.
It seemed like this came from the heart, it told a tale of a person who denies the rights of love and doesn't care at all for it.
They despise it.
The idea of this piece is original, and someone you don't see often of.
There are a few mistakes you can fix, but I've noticed that you've noticed already, so that doesn't really matter much!

I love it so much - lol because this piece is about hating love!


Great job and keep on writing

From LLZ

First of all, we share the same name. It's funny because I never meet any other Sophies, but when I'm on writing sites or other creative sites (tumblr haha,) there are a ton! I always seem to find them.

I love the idea you present in this piece. It's a beautifully simple idea that so many people miss in this life. My largest recommendation would be to proof read. I noticed a few grammatical errors here and there (such as referring to one person as they rather than one or he/she.)

But besides the stupid grammar stuff… your idea is wonderful. And that's what really matters. Not to sound cliche, but the meat of a piece is the idea. The diction and syntax are merely seasonings. But, important at that. You have what it takes to create an amazing essay -- now go out there, look up some fun words, add some more details, and you will have a MAGNIFICENT piece of writing.

Add on to this, I'd love to hear more.

Hello Sophie! And welcome to YWS!

I think you've got an important idea here, although I'm not quite sure where you want to go with this and what makes it more like an article and less like a, say, blog post. It's quite short, so I wouldn't say it qualifies as an essay, so perhaps you'd like to try to expand it and make it more coherent, so it doesn't seem so much like a diary entry.

However, I'm glad to have read this - so many people need to be told something like this. I especially liked "I am not a puzzle and even though I might have some cracks, I’m still a whole person." and the whole idea of holding your own hand. That was a great idea!

What do you mean by "loneliness doesn't equal love"? I'm a bit confused by it. Also, Valentine's day is spelled with a capital V (I have to be nitpicky since it's such a short piece!) Be careful of repetition: towards the end you have two adjacent sentences starting with "In fact"!

I enjoyed reading these ideas and I could relate to them as well! I think it'd be even better as a longer piece

Demeter x