Young Writers Society

On her way back to the girls’ dorms, Lucy wondered miserably how she would get a ride to the abortion clinic. She felt so alone, and so shaken by that incident with Paul. She had never imagined he would try to curse her. It was just one more fear and disappointment to be added to her list of anxieties. Her only defense against it had been to act cold and haughty toward Paul, but she felt like she was being crushed under his foot.

When Lucy opened the door to her room, she saw her roommate, Holly, lying in bed, absorbed in a thick book. Holly was an introverted, thoughtful, timid person, and she was an English major. In her homework and in her free time, she was always reading one of those “famous” books which are only famous among English majors.

Holly was the only friend in college who Lucy shared her secrets with. She liked going to the mall and hanging out with her other friends, but Holly was the only one she confided in. Holly shared secrets with her too, and they had been close friends almost since their first week of college. Lucy supposed their personalities had just clicked, but there was also something about Holly that made Lucy feel like she could trust her.

Since she knew Paul wouldn’t drive her to the abortion clinic, Lucy thought perhaps Holly would, but the only problem was, Holly was a Christian. She would probably be opposed to the idea of an abortion. When Lucy had told Holly that she and Paul had slept together, Holly had looked sad and had timidly told Lucy she had done wrong. Lucy had replied that Holly was entitled to her opinion, but she didn’t need to impose it on others. Lucy herself was more interested in New Age philosophy than Christianity. She liked the spiritual beliefs of the New Age movement, which she could easily hold without becoming judgmental of other people. Lucy felt that Holly wasn’t a judgmental person at heart, but her beliefs sometimes compelled her to be.

Quietly sitting down at her desk, which was close to the head of Holly’s bed, Lucy slowly began, “Holly…you have a car here, right?”

Holly put her book down on her chest and folded her hands over the binding, looking over at Lucy. “Yes,” she replied, “Do you need a ride to the store?”

“Not the store…” Lucy blushed. She wasn’t sure why she was feeling ashamed, but it was probably because Holly would think she was sinning. She thought of her other, more easy-going friends and wondered if it might be better to ask one of them, but the thought of telling one of them about her situation sickened her. She imagined one of them might laugh, or tease her, or even spread rumors. Holly was the only person she knew she could trust not to spread rumors.

Holly put a bookmark in her book and sat up in bed, looking concerned. “Is there something wrong?” she asked.

Lucy braced herself. “I need you to drive me to the abortion clinic,” she blurted out. Though she didn’t meet her friend’s eyes, she could see an expression of horror dawning on her face. She knew what Holly was going to say next.

“Lucy, if—if you’re pregnant, you shouldn’t get an abortion,” Holly stammered, “There…there must be a better option.”

“I’ve already been through this discussion,” Lucy muttered sullenly.

“You could consider adoption,” Holly suggested.

“I don’t need to consider adoption,” Lucy retorted, “Paul wants to raise the baby.”

“Then why don’t you let him?” Holly asked, a hopeful smile appearing on her face.

Lucy rounded on her angrily. “Holly, I’m going to have an abortion, all right?” she snapped, “Now are you going to drive me or not?”

“Oh…” Holly lowered her eyes.

“I need at least someone to support me in this,” Lucy pleaded, “Just one person, please. I’m so sick of arguing about it.”

“But, Lucy, abortion is murder,” Holly whispered.

Not even Paul had used the word ‘murder’, and hearing Holly say it really hurt. Lucy broke down crying. “I thought I could trust you,” she sobbed, “Now even you’re calling me evil! I never asked for any of this to happen to me! I just want this nightmare to be over!”

“I’m sorry, Lucy,” Holly said, and she started crying too, “I…know you’re in a really tough spot. I’m sorry.”

“Just drive me to the clinic,” Lucy begged, “I know this goes against your personal moral values, but you won’t have to feel like you’re responsible for the abortion. I’ll have an abortion anyway. You’ll just be giving me a safe way to get to the clinic and back. Please, Holly, I don’t want to take the bus. That would be awful!”

Holly nodded. “I…I suppose…”

“Then you’ll do it?” Lucy asked eagerly.

Holly didn’t want Lucy to take the bus. She agreed to do it.

Lucy called an abortion clinic, and the date was set for Friday evening.

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Paul spent the next few days in a state of constant agitation. He realized that he didn’t actually know how he would be able to tell if Lucy did it. She probably wouldn’t tell him. Every time he saw her in the halls or on campus, he would think, Has she done it yet? What if she has? and watch her out of the corner of his eye, trying to discern any kind of subtle change in her countenance. There had to be some way to know whether she had done it or not.

If she does, he swore to himself, I will pull the string. He began to hate her more just for making him go through all this anxiety. Frequently, he would finger the straw doll in his bag, though he always kept it out of sight. He wished he could take it out in his dorm room, but he couldn’t even do that because he didn’t want Masaya to know he had accessed Jigoku Tsuushin.

During these days, Hone-Onna kept watch on him in his class buildings, posing as a teacher’s aid. She pitied him, but she pitied Lucy even more.