Young Writers Society

THE ONLY THING IM GOING TO CRITICIZE IS THE WORD "HART" NEEDS TO SPELLED "HEART"

BUT I LOVED YOUR POEM

SO IN RESPONSE I WOULD GIVE U 2 STARS

COULD U PLEASE READ AND REVIEW SOME OF MINE (MINE MIGHT B A LITTLE BIT WEIRDER THAN YOURS THOUGH) {JUST THOUGHT I WOULD WARN YOU}

About that, English isn't my home language so...

I agree. "Hart" means "male deer." It should be "heart." Otherwise, a good piece. Keep at it.

I like this. It has its weaknesses, but I really felt entertained and interested with this poem.

I LOVED the concept. The sixth sense...wow. It feels as if I could have thought this up a second later, if only I wouldn't have read this poem. It's familiar, and yet so distant.

Faults:

Why do you spell heart "hart"? It's confusing and does not add anything to the poem.

"
‘I cant stand up.
The pain.’ "
and
"
'or me.'
"

What do those mean? Is there a special significance to why those are in 's? It's also confusing. The first one especially. The line "The pain" is really terrible. I think I understand why you say it, but I'd rather you describe it--
"the heaviness in my chest
stings, the knowledge that
it will happen soon."

Something like that.

Otherwise, I really liked this. Good!

I don't know about this.

Some lines are really good and they create very good imagery and tension, such as when the author says that they now they are going to die today. I liked that because I thought that it was a real grip to get the reader to read the rest and settle their urge to find out why.

But, you need to prof read! "Hart" is heart. Okay?

Your structuring was okay, but not great. I think you should try and work out a different structure, and then this will improve the flow and maybe even the effect of your words.