A land of twilight where light could be barely seen and the darkness was far more sinister than that of the darkness i find refuge within. I could see it swirling around me bringing an uncomfortable cold to my body. Soon from its darkest reaches a man would appear before me. I couldnt see his face for he was clad in a jet black hooded cloak. He would beckon me to follow him. As he led me through this dark land i would encounter things from my past.
I relived my biggest mistakes as well as my biggest regrets. See the faces of those i once loved and knew be devoured by this sinister darkness that swirled around everything. The great angers and sorrows of my past all came pouring into me tearing my mind apart. I cringed and fell to my knees due to the overwhelming sensation. I would begin to tear at my skin. clawing at myself as this new found pain would ease my suffering. Bloodied and silent i would sit there as the darkness had finally devoured the little light there was to begin with.
The man that i was following stood before me bending down to where our faces were parallel. He spoke to me in a familiar voice yet it contained anger, sorrow and evil within it. “All of them left you, turned their backs and ignored what’s inside you. What you are but, ive always been there feeling what you feel. I am your only friend. I’ll never abandon you.. for you need me. I am the one who truly gives you strength when you are weak. Fill the void in your heart with rage when all you feel is sorrow. I am your salvation.”
I looked up into his face realizing who it was. His eyes were dark and filled with hate. A sinister smile played across his lips. i could see cuts and scars across his face and neck. As he breathed i could see his breath manifest as if it were as cold as ice. He was someone i knew very well all his secrets were my secrets and his pain my own. He was me and i was he. Once more i could feel the darkness wrap around me slowly blinding my eyes. Just before i myself was engulfed I knew that i stared into my own eyes twisted as they were. It was the eyes of my own darkness.
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I liked the idea you were getting across here. To me the piece was saying that you are only led go more darkness or woe by your own woe. However, the sentences didn't flow as well as they could have. I would suggest working of transitioning frome one thought to one another and thus making it a bit more natural to read. I would also recommend going into detail about the glimpses into your past regrets. Perhaps you could give an example? Don't be afraid to give something personal in your writing. That will usually make your writing much more relatable and will influence a much larger emotional responsen from the reader.